


Stay With Me

by SimplyGinger



Category: Titanic (1997)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 05:17:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1806655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyGinger/pseuds/SimplyGinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cal's sister Maureen, is sailing back from England with him on board Titanic.  Also along are Rose, Ruth and Lovejoy.  Rose is engaged unhappily to Cal, but she's doing it because she and Ruth are out of money. Maureen will be engaged by the time they get back to America if Cal's mother has her way with it but while on board, Maureen meets an officer and Rose runs into Jack Dawson. This is the story of their struggles on board and during the sinking.</p><p>  This was a request for me to write on FanFiction.net but after my stories kept getting deleted, I gave up and moved all my works here.</p><p>This work is not complete but I don't know how to remove the notification that it is complete from the site</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**This was requested of me to write through a private message at Fan Fiction but since I've abandoned my FFN account, I've moved it here.**

**I have wanted to write another story about Titanic but couldn't figure out what to write or who to include in the story. So now that I have my idea, here's the story. Hope y'all like it and please R/R and if you haven't read my other 2 Titanic FFs, please do. I've tweaked and edited "An Adventure to Remember and a Memory to Forget" somewhat by adding in a few extra "scenes" if you will. I haven't forgotten about my other Titanic FF, "An Ocean of Emotion." I've got another chapter for that story in the works as well. Story will be about Rose, Cal and Cal's sister, Maureen Adeline Hockley who sometimes goes by the name Murron - which will be explained in later chapters.  I was told what the character's name and nickname were to be.  The rest was up to me.**

**I may change the title of this story later on, also. I'm not quite sure if it fits just yet. I got the title from a Shakespeare's Sister song of the same name after seeing a fan video of Titanic about Rose set to that song. The story is still young and I needed a title so I could upload it into Fan Fiction.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter One -**

**Maureen**

"Which one should I wear?" I was holding up two gowns and was having a bit of trouble deciding which one I should wear for my boarding gown. I had one that was a deep navy blue with a white lace sash and another one that was a pale yellow. I was holding each of them up to my body so I could study myself in the mirror. I kept switching back and forth, still unsure as to which one to wear. Giving up, I turned to face my attendant, Claire.

"Miss, I'd go with the yellow, but that's just my opinion. Mr. Hockley was quite upset with Miss Rose when she decided on the black gown to board in." Claire walked over to me and held up the pale yellow gown again, "This one looks more cheery than the other. Mr. Hockley was quite upset with Miss Rose over her selection earlier in the day. Best not to upset him a second time."

I winced as I remembered the fight that my brother, Cal, had with his fiancée, Rose. Rose came down for breakfast dressed in a black gown with a black lace bodice. It was more fitting for a funeral than our trip to America. Cal took Rose back upstairs and demanded that Trudy, Rose's attendant, dress her in something more appropriate or she could look for a new job. Rose is my best friend and has been since finishing school and I was thrilled when she announced her engagement to my brother, but for some reason, she was always so melancholy. Her mother, Ruth, was pleased by the union and took every opportunity she had to plan out Rose's wedding to my brother. The only detail Rose insisted on was lavender for the bridesmaids' gowns. Other than that one tiny detail, Rose didn't care about planning her own wedding and left that up to Ruth. I couldn't understand why someone wouldn't be happy about that union. Cal could be a bit hard to handle at times, but his heart was in the right place and though he was a bit older than Rose, I could tell he did love her.

I turned to face Claire, "You're probably right." I handed the navy gown to Claire and she hung it back in my closet as I held the yellow dress up again, "Do you know where the hat is that matches this dress? I have the gloves in my dressing bureau." Claire nodded and reached in the closet and brought out the pale yellow hat that matched the dress and laid it on the bed. She motioned for me to turn around and after tying my corset and helping me with my stockings, helped me into the dress. Claire had me sit down at the dressing table and began to fix my hair. I saw reflected in the mirror that Rose walked in.

"You picked a very beautiful dress, Miss. Mr. Hockley will not be able to find any faults with that. It suits you perfectly."

"Thank you, Claire." Rose smiled, but I could tell something was bothering her. She looked down at the white pin striped dress that she had on. "Maureen, do you mind if I borrow the purple hat that you have? I'm afraid I can not find mine."

I said that was fine and I motioned to where it was and Rose started to walk to the closet to get it when Claire beat her to it, "Allow me, miss."

Rose just shook her head and started to leave the room, "I need to let Trudy finish dressing me. If you could, would you bring it to my room when you're done in here?"

Claire nodded and she went back to finishing my hair and makeup. I closed my eyes and allowed her to brush eye shadow across my eyes and apply mascara to my lashes, "I'm done, Miss Hockley."

I opened my eyes. Claire had pulled my hair back in a loose bun. She put two clips in my hair to accent the yellow in the dress. I smiled and told her she did a great job.

"Where in the hell is Rose?" I heard my brother's voice from the hallway, "We've got to leave and she's holding us up as usual. The ship starts allowing first class passengers to board in an hour and we've got to leave now." He appeared in my room and looked pleased, "I see you're ready. You look wonderful. What about Rose? If she keeps dragging her feet, she's going to make us all late and we'll have to board with the lower class people." Cal said the last part as if he was being forced to walk on hot coals barefoot. I knew Cal didn't speak to anyone or have anything to do with anyone beneath his station. I was more like our mother. I had no problems socializing with all classes of people, but my brother only socialized with people in our station.

"Mr. Hockley, she was in her room. She came in Miss Hockley's room to borrow the purple hat your sister wore two weeks ago to the Macintosh engagement. Rose stated she couldn't find hers. She left and said Trudy was dressing her when I was finishing dressing your sister."

I watched my brother's expression and he remained unchanged. I noticed that the shirt he had on matched the pattern in the suit Rose was wearing and I started to say something about it, but decided against it. He turned and left and didn't say another word to us. Claire finished putting my jewelry on and after pinning the yellow hat to my head, she announced I was finished.

I heard Cal in Rose's room a few minutes later demanding that she hurry up or she'd be left behind. I smiled to myself thinking that would be what Rose wanted anyway. He got quiet for a moment and I figured he was watching as Trudy finished up with Rose.

After gathering my handbag and checking myself in the mirror once more, I turned to leave the room as another one of Cal's attendants came in with Mr. Lovejoy to pick up my belongings. He was barking out commands to get my trunks and boarding coat downstairs to the cars before I made us late. Mr. Lovejoy was my brother's valet. My father had hired him to keep track of my brother's whereabouts while we were in England on business. I couldn't stand the man and had as little to do with him as possible. Every time I was around Mr. Lovejoy, I got the feeling he was thinking thoughts about me that I'd rather not think about. I tried saying something to my brother, but he waived it off saying that Mr. Lovejoy would never do anything of the sort. My brother used my nickname quite a lot in my younger years while we were at home, but now that I was growing up and was a young debutant, my brother as well as Mr. Lovejoy used my given name. It was another part of my life that was disappearing as fast as the setting sun in the afternoons. I stayed back across the room and hid myself behind the bed in the room as I watched. I kept my gaze diverted to anywhere in the room Mr. Lovejoy wasn't.

"Maureen, how are you doing today?"

"I am looking forward to the trip. My brother said everything will be ready for us to leave momentarily." He watched as they hurried into my room to pick up my belongings. I looked up in time to see Rose practically run out of her room and down the stairs. Seeing that as my cue to break away from the glare of my brother's valet, I moved by Lovejoy to see where Rose was going. I heard the front door slam and as it echoed through the house, Cal walked by and was just as upset as Rose was. I asked Claire not to forget to bring my coat and she said she'd bring it. I made my way down the steps and outside into the chilly April air. Rose was seated in the back of one of Cal's Renaults. The driver was already in the front seat, but quickly got out and opened the back door so I could get in.

Rose had her head down, but the noise the door handle made caused her to look up. Realizing it was me and not Cal, she smiled. "Maureen. Please. Sit. Cal stated we were almost ready to leave and I wanted to come outside and wait. That house can be so stuffy sometimes." She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief she had in her handbag. She brought her face up so I could see her and I noticed her makeup had been smudged from her tears. I got a handkerchief out of my bag and dabbed Rose's eyes, trying to fix her makeup before Cal saw us, "Thank you. You are the polar opposite of your brother, just so you know."

I looked at her, "I'm not going to pretend I know what's going on, Rose. I know my brother can be a bit difficult to deal with, but his heart is in the right place."

Rose sighed and took the handkerchief from me and dabbed her eyes again, "I know. I should be happy, but it's just…" Rose faded off as she noticed some of the attendants walking to the cars. The car made a movement as the trunks from my room were placed on the back of it. "It doesn't matter." She smiled as she turned to face the window, her face and her emotions hidden by my purple hat. I started to say something, but decided against it.

The door to the car opened again and Ruth was helped in by the driver. She was every bit as difficult to deal with as my brother. I thought to myself on more than one occasion that in an ideal world, Ruth and my brother should be getting married and not Rose and my brother. Ruth was every bit as stuck up as my brother was and they would have made a perfect couple if Ruth was about 30 years younger. She was just like Cal in the fact she didn't want to speak to anyone or be associated with anyone beneath her station. I told this theory to Rose once and I've never heard her laugh as hard as she did that night I told her. That was about the last time I saw Rose come alive. Ever since then, she was so depressed that she barely said a word to anyone.

"Maureen, do you have everything?" I nodded as Mr. Lovejoy opened the door to let Cal sit down. My brother seated himself between Rose and me. "Miss Rose, Ruth? What about you two?" Ruth nodded and Rose didn't even acknowledge Mr. Lovejoy's presence. Ruth was in the seat behind the driver that faced the back of the car. "Very well." After casting one last glance in my direction, he shut the door and I watched as he got in the car in front of us with Claire and Trudy. I breathed a sigh of relief as the driver started the engine and the Hockley family made its way to the docks to board Titanic.

I played with the sash of my dress, hoping to avoid Ruth's eyes. She kept staring right at me and I could feel it. I looked everywhere but in her direction. I tilted my head to the side so that the side of my hat would conceal my face from her view. "Maureen, stop playing with the dress. You're old enough to know how to act in a situation like this and not do that." Ruth's voice interrupted my thoughts. In an act of defiance, I didn't listen.

Cal snatched the sash out of my hands and tucked it in one of the loops that held up the sash just out of my reach. "She knows."

I did my best not to say anything back to either of them and instead, just focused on the passing scenery outside my windows until we arrived at the docks. The third class passengers had to go through a health screening line before they were allowed to board the ship. I saw some of the ship's officers and crew members directing them where to go. Mr. Lovejoy got out of the front seat of the Renault as did the driver who opened the door. He helped me out and as I got out into the bright sunshine, I got my first look at the Titanic. I was speechless as I took in her size. Cal got out next, and helped Rose and Ruth out.

"I don't see what all of the fuss is about. It doesn't look any bigger than the Mauritania." Rose was eyeing the ship like I was. She turned to face Cal, obviously unimpressed with the size of the Titanic.

"You can be blasé about some things, Rose, but not about Titanic. It's over a hundred feet longer than the Mauritania and far more luxurious. Why else do you think we're on it? It has squash courts, a Parisian cafe even Turkish baths." Cal looked at me, confused as to why Rose would make a statement like that. "Your daughter is far too difficult to impress, Ruth. Unlike my little sister here. What do you think, Maureen? Do you feel the same way as Rose, or can you tell the difference?"

"Cal, of course I can. Just on the outside alone, the Titanic is in a class all by herself."

He nodded and smiled and took Rose by the arm. A Titanic crew member came up behind us and started to tell my brother that our baggage needed to be checked. Cal just sighed and handed a twenty dollar bill out of his wallet to the porter. The porter, taken back by the tip he just received, told us that his name was Timothy and if we needed anything, to please let him know as he'd be our personal attendant throughout the voyage. I looked back at the porter and he was still staring at the bill my brother gave him. Cal never tires of the effect of money on the unwashed masses.

Turning my attention back to Trudy and Claire gathering our belongings, I stopped to watch the lower class passengers going through the health inspection stations. Crew members were combing through their hair, checking for lice. I noticed a father with his probably six year old daughter. They had already been through the station and were waiting to board. She had a porcelain doll in her hands and waved at me. I smiled and waved back. The porcelain doll she had in her hands reminded me of one of my dolls I had left back at home. My mother gave her to me on my sixth birthday. I called her Alyssa and she went everywhere with me. I smiled as I remembered the memories the doll and I had made together when I was younger.

"Maureen, do not encourage them. They know we're first class passengers and if you encourage them, they'll be looking for handouts." Ruth walked by me, disgusted that I waved at the little girl.

I just ignored her and waved again. She said something to her father, then pointed towards our group and her father turned around. I waved at him too. He looked at me, puzzled, but waved again. He watched his daughter and she laughed and waved at us again. After realizing that neither Rose nor I were annoyed by her behavior towards us, he waved again, this time more friendly.

Cal looked at Rose and me and shook his head, "Ladies? Are we ready?" We said we were and he sent Claire and Trudy ahead first. They walked by me and moved by Cal who stood next to Rose who was waving to the little girl as well. "Sweet pea, are we ready?" Rose looked at Cal and nodded, ever so slightly. After waving once more at the little girl, we started up the ramp to board. She waved back and I saw her and her father board through the third class entrance. I turned my attention back to the ramp that we were all walking up but watching Rose drag her feet made me wonder what was really going on with her.

**Wanted: Reviewers for the story. To apply for the job, click "submit review" at the bottom and type. No flames though about how the movie and/or history played out vs. my story. It's called fiction for a reason.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know the movie credits list Cora's dad as being Bert Cartmell, but it never lists her mother's name. There's a deleted scene on the three disc special edition of Titanic that shows Cora does in fact have a mother on board Titanic, so I made up the name for Cora's mother. I won't tell anyone what the scene is about in case any of you haven't seen it or don't want to see it. Also, I rearranged the layout of the suites in order to coincide with the story. Rose and Maureen's room are connected by a common area and Cal and Ruth's rooms are connected too. I'm also going to add in another sister and maybe another brother to Cal and Maureen that will be mentioned in passing in the upcoming chapters for storyline reasons. Oh, and I'm eventually going to name the chapters as well. So don't flame me because I changed the facts to fit my story. THAT'S why it's called fiction.**

**Secondly, about her nickname – I'll explain how she got that in the next chapter or so. It'll make sense after that, I promise. Patience my readers. Patience!**

**On with the story…**

**Chapter 2**

"Miss, would you like for me to hang your dresses up?"

I turned around to face Claire, "Yes, please. Hang up all of them with the exception of the dark blue dress with the black lace. I'll be wearing that tonight when dinner is served and please leave out my matching earrings and necklace also."

Claire curtsied and excused herself to my bedroom to hang up the gowns I brought on board Titanic. My room was right across from Rose's room. Our rooms were connected by a common area and the promenade deck outside our rooms. I put my handbag down on the couch in my sitting room and walked to open the door to Rose's half of our suite. I saw Rose speaking with Trudy as she was pulling paintings out of a shipping carton.

"Would you like all of them out, Miss?"

"Goodness, yes. We need a little color in these rooms. Maureen, which one do you want for your room?" Rose lost herself in thought as she held a colorful landscape portrait in her hands, "This is a favorite of mine. This wood color in the rooms is so bland and dark. This room is so depressing and I don't need any other depressing situations in my life. I've got enough of that as it is." She set out a painting of abstract faces next to a painting of the landscape she was admiring earlier, "Truth but no logic. I like them."

I was about to ask what she meant by that, but Cal came in. He was drinking champagne in our private promenade deck which was next to where I was standing. There was an entrance to the deck at the back of my suite. Since Cal was entering through the suite, I guessed that all of the suites we were in shared the same private deck. "I don't understand them. To me, art is meant to be understood. This looks like that artist, whatever his name was, got drunk on brandy and painted his own reflection using a broken mirror and a crooked brush. Looks awful. At least they were cheap." He motioned for the porter to come over and Cal handed the champagne bottle to him.

Rose just shook her head, "It's fascinating. It's like being in a dream. You're not supposed to know the true meaning of the paintings. You're supposed to interpret what they mean to you." She held out a simple painting of a ballerina in a blue unitard, "Put this in your room. It's one of my favorites."

She handed me the painting and I stared at it. I didn't know that much about art. It never was my forte. The one Rose handed me was one of the better paintings she had. I was of the mindset that my brother had. I didn't understand the abstract pieces Rose had collected, but at least this painting she gave me made sense. The ballet dancer was a normal portrait and not the abstract art she had in her room. I put the painting on my bureau and came back up front to watch Mr. Lovejoy wheeling Cal's safe through our suite to put in his closet. Why he came through Rose's and my suite was beyond me, but ff there was one thing my brother was famous for, it was security. He always took a large amount of cash with him wherever he went when he traveled. He had also sworn me to secrecy about an engagement gift he had bought Rose. It was a beautiful diamond necklace. Cal had told me that the French called it "le coeur de la mer." Cal had bought it for Rose to wear at the engagement gala in Philadelphia which would happen shortly after we docked in New York. I had told Cal that it was beautiful and he asked me not to say a word to Rose about it as he wanted to give it to her to wear when we docked. I told him I'd keep his secret. I knew that the necklace would be tucked in the safe as well.

I checked the clock on the mantle behind Rose. It was almost time for the ship to leave port. I told Cal I was going to watch the ship set sail. He said that was fine but reminded me to be back in time to dress for dinner. As I turned to go back to my room to get my shawl, Rose announced she was coming with me.

We made our way up to the first class sun decks. Rose and I walked over to the railings and were surprised at the number of people still on the docks, waving at us. "Wonder how many are down there? Looks like the entire population of England came out to the docks here at Southampton to see us off." Even though I didn't know anyone down there, I waved my hand before turning my attention back to Rose.

Rose had her head down with her eyes focused on the docks below, "I don't know but God I wish I was down there and not here." She closed her eyes as she sighed, "I'm sorry. I know he's your brother and you love him, but sometimes it's just so hard. Mother expects so much of me. Cal expects so much of me. You expect so much of me. I just don't know if I have it in me." She fixated her gaze on the lower class decks to the left of where we were standing, "Sometimes it's all too much. I just want out. I want out and to be able to run far, far away."

I stared at her. I followed her gaze to a foreign man who was staring at us. He was either Spanish or Italian, but from my viewpoint above, I couldn't tell. He held a small child in one of his arms while his other arm was wrapped around his wife's waist. When she turned to move out of the way to allow someone behind her to take her spot at the railing, I noticed then that she was with child. I smiled as I shifted my eyes to Rose as not to seem rude and stare back at them. "I've never heard you speak like this. Do you love my brother?"

Rose still kept her gaze fixed on the third class passengers below us, "Maureen, I do. You know that. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. You're practically my sister now." She looked at me and tried to force a genuine smile, but I could tell she was faking, so I let it slide, "What about you? I heard Cal and his father talk about a suitor for you. Did anything come of that?"

I shook my head, knowing immediately who she meant, "I hope not. Having to sit next to him at the Macintosh engagement gala during the dinner was torture enough. He didn't know how to cut his meat and kept using his salad fork to eat his main course. I thought my brother was going to faint."

Rose laughed, "I remember that. He looked so out of place, I almost felt sorry for him." She sighed, "Sometimes, I feel so out of place everywhere. Especially in this lifestyle."

"Rose, sometimes you make absolutely no sense."

She was quiet a moment before she spoke, "I'm sorry, Maureen. I'm going to go back to the state room. It's a bit chilly up here. I'll help Trudy unpack before dinner tonight." She hugged me, then turned and walked back to the entrance to our state rooms.

I stayed where I was as the ship left port. I had never seen a ship depart like this before and found the experience fascinating. After we left the port, I felt the engines below me rumble to life and gradually, we started to pick up speed as our course was turned towards the open ocean. I knew we had to make a stop in Cherbourg and then Ireland, but after that, we'd be on our way to America.

As the breeze picked up as our speed increased, I started walking towards the back part of the ship to get out of the wind. After walking to the back of the first class area, I came upon the railings that separated the lower class decks to our deck. I looked down and saw people talking and having a great time. I watched in amazement as people from all different groups were mixing as one. I felt a pang of jealousy at the sight before me because I knew that would never happen for me. Sighing as I turned my attention away from the decks, I settled in one of the deck chairs and watched as the ship steamed outwards in the blue ocean water. There were but a few clouds in the sky and the sunlight was directly overhead, providing just enough warmth to take the sting out of the chilly April air.

I watched as people from the first class milled about on deck. A porter came by me with two large dogs and I watched as he opened the gate to the third class and led the dogs down there to do their business. I found it appalling that the first class dogs used the third class decks to do their business, but there was nothing I could do about it. I closed my eyes and felt the warm sun on my cheeks and just listened to the mesmerizing sounds of the ocean waves crashing against the ship and the gentle hum of the engines below deck. I was brought out of my slumber when I felt something land on my lap. I looked down and it was a bright red ball. I looked over towards the first class decks and realized that no one was playing ball on deck. I realized that it must have come from the third class decks. I stood up and with the ball in my hand, made my way to the entrance to the third class decks.

"Sorry about that miss. She threw it harder than she meant to and I couldn't catch it."

I looked down to see a blonde haired man playing with the little girl Rose and I waved at earlier. I let myself in the gate and walked down the stairs. "Not a problem. It didn't hit me hard. I'm fine. I'm just glad it didn't go over the rails. That would have been quite a jump." The man looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language, "Is something wrong, sir?"

He swallowed hard, "No, ma'am. I'm just not used to having high class people speak to me like that. Usually they just bark commands at me as if I'm a member of their wait staff." He wiped his hand on his shirt. "Jack Dawson. Pleased to meet you." I shook his hand and he motioned over his shoulder to a sweet looking little girl with dark ringlets, "That's Cora Cartmell. It's her ball."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Dawson." I let go of his hand and turned to the little girl. "Cora, Mr. Dawson tells me this is your ball. Is it?"

She smiled, "Yes ma'am, I'm sorry about hitting you with it. I didn't mean to." She looked down at her feet as if I was about to yell at her for disturbing me.

"It's not a problem. I saw you on the docks. I saw your doll, too. She is a very pretty doll."

"My doll? Her name is Amelia. My mom got her for me for my sixth birthday last week. My mother said she had one like her when she was my age."

"Really? I have a doll just like her and guess what? My mother got her for me for my sixth birthday, too. Her name is Alyssa. I don't have her with me though. She is at my house in America, which is where I'm from."

Cora started to say something but was interrupted by a man walking towards her, "Cora! What have you done now?" I looked up and he was walking towards me, with a woman right behind him, "Ma'am, I'm awfully sorry for the intrusion. My daughter can't read well and didn't know this was a first class area. We'll take her out of your way. Please don't alert the stewards. We mean you no harm." The man held out his hand and Cora took it.

"No, sir. Your daughter did no such thing. Mr. Dawson and Cora were playing with her ball and it bounced up and over the deck railings. I brought it back down to her. I was telling her about my doll that looks just like the one she had earlier on the docks. I received mine about 15 years ago as a gift from my own mother." I smiled and handed her the ball, "It was my pleasure to bring it back down here to her."

"Cora, did you hit this lady with your ball?" The man looked at his daughter who was about to say something, but Jack spoke up first.

"No, Bert. It was my fault. She didn't do anything." I watched as he winked at Cora, getting her to go along with the story. Jack looked at me before he directed his gaze at Cora's parents.

"I assure you, no harm was done and I have no intentions on alerting anyone. There wasn't a problem here. I just wanted to bring her ball back to her."

The man recognized me now and his face softened, "You're the one on the docks. You and the other lady were waving at Cora. You made her day." He held out his hand, "I'm not sure if I'm doing this correctly, so forgive me if I'm not. I'm not used to being around you people. I see you've met Jack Dawson already. This is my wife, Susanna. You've met our daughter, Cora. My name is Bert Cartmell."

I had to hide a smile as not to embarrass the man. "You did just fine. My name is Maureen Hockley." I shook his hand, "Where is everyone from?"

"America." I looked over at Jack as he spoke, "Well, all over actually. I was born in America. Somehow I made my way to Paris, then on to Wales and then England, and now here. A friend and I won tickets on board at a poker game." Jack motioned to a man with dark hair speaking to another woman on board, "My friend, Fabrizio, is over there. He is traveling with me."

"We're from Liverpool. We're heading to America for a better life." I looked at the expression on Bert's face. I just couldn't begin to imagine what the expression meant. "Hoping it's a lot better than where we were at in England, but enough of that. We'd best be letting you get back up. I don't want anyone to get into trouble."

I started to turn back to walk up to the decks, "It was very nice meeting all of you." I waved at Cora who was holding Jack's hand and turned to exit the area through the gate I used to come downstairs.

"Please get back below decks. This area is for first class passengers only." I looked up to see an officer talking to me, "Do not make me alert the master at arms."

I looked at him, "Excuse me?"

"Third class passengers are not allowed in this area. Now get back down before I have you detained."

I looked at him and was mortified that he implied I was third class, "I'll have you know, sir, my name is Maureen Hockley. I am a first class passenger on this ship and was returning a child's toy to her. Now if you don't let me pass, I'll report you!" He backed up and opened the gate, "Thank you." I started to walk off and he caught up to me.

"My deepest apologies, Miss Hockley. I've already had to usher about a dozen third class passengers back to their area since the ship set sail and had to have one of them detained for his conduct in on decks. I did not mean to offend you. I knew right away when you said your last name that there was no way that you could be a third class passenger. I hope you're not offended."

He looked at me and I could tell he was sorry by his mistake. I studied his face a moment. He had to be nearing thirty and was very handsome. A slight accent in his voice led me to believe he wasn't from England, but I couldn't place where he was from. "Not a problem, Officer…" I trailed off as a hint for him to tell me his name.

"Lowe, ma'am. Titanic's Fifth Officer Harold Lowe and again, I am truly sorry for the insinuation you were steerage. I should have been able to tell by your beautiful gown that you didn't belong down there. You look absolutely breathtaking if I do say so myself."

I blushed and I held out my hand and he kissed it lightly. "It's quite alright, Officer Lowe. If anything, I'm the one who needed to be scolded. I went down there to give the little girl her ball back. I shouldn't have done that. I should have summonsed a porter to take it down below. I scared the little girl's parents by thinking they were in a first class area on accident."

"Hockley. You're not Nathan Hockley's daughter are you?"

"Yes, I am. My brother, Caledon, is on the ship also with his fiancée and his future mother in law. How did you know about my father?"

He motioned for me to take his arm so he could escort me back, "Your father's company, Hockley Steel, was used in part to build the ship. He came by the White Star Lines offices one day while I was there a few months ago, right after the Titanic's test trials after she was built. I had just returned from a trip to America and he was there, demanding that your family be given the VIP treatment while on board."

"Sounds like my father. I assure you, not all of us are that arrogant. I happen to take after my mother. She's much more quiet and relaxed. My father and my brother, Cal, are cut from the same cast."

"That I could tell. If I had insulted your brother like that, he'd probably have me beheaded and thrown off the ship."

I started to laugh, "That sounds like my brother. Please, it's quite alright about what happened back down there. I'm not planning on reporting you. It was an honest mistake." I found it quite easy to talk to him, "This is Titanic's maiden voyage, correct?" I already knew the answer to this question but wanted to hear Officer Lowe speak more.

"Yes, ma'am. This is her maiden voyage. I was honored that White Star Lines chose me for the trip. A lot officers, especially some with more seniority than I have, applied for the voyage, but I was selected."

"I'm glad you were selected. You have been kind to me, minus the part of thinking I was someone else." Officer Lowe looked at me and started to speak, but I didn't give him the chance, "I'm kidding. Please. Unlike my brother and my father, I can joke." Keeping up the pace we were at, it didn't take long before we arrived at the first class entrance. "I thank you Officer Lowe for the escort. Will I be seeing you at dinner? Do the officers eat with the passengers?"

He shook his head, "No ma'am. We are down there, but it's usually just for show. The officers eat in our own mess hall which is close to our rooms. I'll be sure to speak to you if I see you later on and if you need an escort to your table, the pleasure would be all mine." He took my hand and gently kissed it then opened the door. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Hockley."

"Likewise, Officer Lowe. I do hope to see you again, soon." I smiled and he shut the door behind me as I made my way back to my suite to dress for dinner.

**A/N – Again, this is FICTION. No flames about how history was vs. how my story is.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - Just for clarification's sake so I don't get a bunch of angry emails in my email that I goofed on the story dates – Rose didn't try to kill herself until the** _**second** _ **day on Titanic. The first day on board was when the ship left port on April 10th and docked at Cherbourg then headed to Ireland. This is when Molly Brown (Kathy Bates's character) came on as in real life, Molly came on at Cherbourg. There wasn't an afternoon on board/dinner scene after they boarded. The only after boarding scene was the one in Rose's room about the paintings. There was only a brief scene of Rose and Ruth coming out of the elevator dressed for dinner right as Old Rose narrates about Molly Brown. The next day, April 11th, was when the ship left Ireland as evident by Old Rose's narration about "steaming west from the coast of Ireland with nothing out ahead of us but ocean" and then the "Take her to sea, Mr. Murdoch" line of Captain Smith's (which is one of my favorite tracks from the movie score on the first Titanic soundtrack disc). Seeing as how there isn't anything written in the movie about this day, I have penned a chapter for the first day on board. The siblings I mentioned in the previous chapter come into play here.**

**The second night was the night Rose tried to kill herself which was on the night of the 11th. I'm going to try to include the dates in the chapters so my readers will know where we are up until the ship hits the iceberg on April 14th and sinks on April 15th. And eventually I'll name the chapters, too.**

**Also an interesting side note that has absolutely nothing to do with the story – Kathy Bates is from Memphis. I live near Memphis.**

**On with the story now…**

**Chapter 3 – the night of April 10th**

Claire was finishing dressing me for dinner when my brother walked in. "You look wonderful, little sister." He looked me over once more. "As always. I sent Rose and Ruth on to the dining area. I wanted to walk you to dinner if you don't mind." He smiled and as soon as Claire said I was ready, I took Cal's arm and we made our way slowly to the dining area.

"How was your afternoon, Cal?"

He stared at me, as if I had just asked him a complex question that he didn't know the answer to. "Fine. What brought that on?"

"I don't know. You know my life is played out. I'm pretty easy to read and pretty predictable. You're my older brother, and it seems like we rarely talk about it. I was just curious."

He shook his head and led me towards the elevators. The attendant opened the door and Cal and I got in and started our decent towards the dining hall. The elevator stopped and the attendant moved by Cal, but almost ran into me as he was opening the gates.

"Watch where you're going you moron! You almost hit my sister. I'd have your job if you did." Cal was scowling at the attendant who mumbled a weak apology and hurried to get out of Cal's line of sight. "Are you okay?"

I turned back to the attendant and tried to give him an apologetic look for my brother's rude outburst, but he never would look up. I sighed and looked at Cal. "I'm fine. You didn't have to be so mean. He didn't hurt me."

"He disrespected you. You know I hate for people like that to disrespect us."

There was that attitude again. I felt it best not to say anything as I didn't need a lecture in the public eye on how a lady should behave and treat the staff, who were all clearly of a lower class than we were.

"Caledon! And who is this?"

I turned to face a gentleman with a young wife, about my age. "J.J., Madeleine, I'd like you to meet my sister, Maureen Hockley. Maureen, this is J.J. and his wife Madeleine Astor."

Mr. Astor held out his hand, "So you're the sister we've been hearing so much about. Cal told us you'd be joining us on this voyage." He kissed my hand. "Enjoying it so far?"

I smiled, "Indeed sir, I am. This is a remarkable ship. How about you and your wife?"

As his quiet wife watched, we exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes longer when Rose and Ruth joined us. Cal escorted us all to the dining room and seated us at a table with one couple I didn't recognize, the Astors and the Countess of Rothes. Rose remained silent as Ruth and the Countess spoke of Rose's upcoming wedding.

"And the cathedral Cal selected, we hope, is large enough to hold everyone. Cal and I invited all of the Philadelphia society. Nathan insisted on it. There will probably be over 500 people there. Rose's wedding gown will be fitted when we get to Philadelphia. The only thing I don't agree on is the bridesmaids' gowns. They're lavender. Rose knows I detest that color, but she was adamant."

"Ruth, you will have to let me know if you need any help. I've got several attendants we could send your way to help with the wedding party."

The Countess and Ruth went on about their mindless chatter as I kept an eye on Rose. She barely looked up and would only speak if someone spoke to her.

"Are you okay? You seem melancholy."

She looked up at me, "I'm fine. I'm just tired. Traveling always takes it out of me. What did you do on deck after I left?"

"Nothing really. I people watched and even made a trip to the third class."

Rose looked horrified, "You what? Cal would be upset with you if he found out. You know how he feels about that."

"He's not going to find out." I told her the story of Cora and returning her ball, "Then when I tried to come back up to the first class decks, an officer stopped me and accused me of being from the third class. The error was straightened out quickly though. He said he'd be here in the dining hall." I looked around, "But I don't see him yet."

Cal overheard me speaking, "Excuse me. Did you say an officer accused you of being a third class passenger? What is his name? I will report him to the captain." He was speaking lowly, so none of the other guests at our table could hear what was going on.

I didn't want to risk getting Officer Lowe in trouble. I didn't say anything.

"Maureen. What was this officer's name? He deserves to be reprimanded. No one should ever accuse anyone of being third class, when clearly we are royalty. Tell me his name."

"I don't remember. Cal, it was an honest mistake. I was up on the sun deck and the wind caught my hat. It blew off of my head and down on the third class decks. I went down to get it and as I tried to come back up, an officer stopped me to tell me to get back down below or he'd have me detained. When the wind took my hat, it pulled out the pins Claire put in. My hair was a bit of a mess, so it was truly an honest mistake." I hoped Cal wouldn't figure out I was lying.

"You went to the third class area, Maureen?" He started to say something, but changed his mind, "We'll discuss this later."

I nodded my head and took a page out of Rose's book. I kept my head down and kept silent through the dinner. When the dinner was over, the gentlemen at the table retired to the smoking room for brandy before bed. Rose took off back to the suites, not even bothering to wait on anyone to walk her back. I told my brother I was going for a walk on decks before I retired for the night. He said that was fine before he walked with Mr. Astor and Mr. Ismay to the smoking room.

I made my way up the grand staircase and towards the door that would lead me up to the boat deck.

"Miss Hockley?"

I turned around, hearing my name. "Officer Lowe." I smiled. "How are you this evening?"

He took my hand in his and kissed it gently again. "Doing extremely well now that you are here. Was dinner to your liking?"

"Somewhat. Just so you know, my brother does want you tossed off the ship."

He looked at me for a minute and then he realized what I was talking about, "The incident earlier I would imagine didn't set well with your brother, did it?"

"I was going out for some air. Care to join me? I'll tell you what happened if you would like."

He motioned for me to take his arm and we walked out into the night air. "So, do I need to put on a life belt and jump over now, or will I get a trial first?"

I laughed, "You know my brother well. He'd shove you over himself." I stopped to think, "No, that's not entirely true. He'd get his man to do it. Cal couldn't be bothered with menial work like that." I just shook my head at the statement knowing it was entirely true. We started walking on deck and I told him how I was telling Rose about what happened and Cal interrupted, "He demanded I tell him your name so he could see that proper discipline was handed out. I felt it in your best interest and in mine to lie. I didn't want to get you fired over such a small mistake and an honest one at that. You didn't know and you were doing your job. I can't find fault with someone who was doing their job and was obeying orders they were given."

He looked relieved, "Thank you. With the money your family has, I'm sure you could buy me or sell me." He stopped a minute, "Or for that matter, my whole family."

I could tell he was joking, "I'd make sure we got a fair price for you."

We were walking back towards the third class entrance that was behind our rather awkward introduction. "I've got to go below decks to make an inspection. Wait here, please. I'll be right back."

"Do I have to wait? You know I've been down there before."

He looked at me, puzzled. "You're definitely not your typical first class debutant. If you would like to accompany me, I could think of no better company." He held out his hand and as he opened the gate, escorted me down the stairs. I heard the faint sound as the latch on the gate made contact with the post. "Quiet tonight. Usually there are people out on the lower class decks at night. For them, life is a party that never ends."

I started to say something, but noticed Jack sitting on a bench, flipping through what appeared to be a sketch book. "Mr. Dawson?"

He jumped ever so slightly as I called out his name. "Miss Hockley." He put his sketch pad down and got up. "Nice to see you tonight."

Officer Lowe looked at me and I knew by his expression that he would appreciate an explanation as to how Jack and I knew each other, "I met Mr. Dawson earlier, right before I met you over the gate incident."

Jack looked at us both, "Gate incident?"

Officer Lowe smiled, "I had a rather unfortunate run in with Miss Hockley earlier as I made an error, but at least she's not your typical first class lady. She didn't have me tossed overboard."

"Indeed she isn't. Normal women wouldn't be caught down here unless their life depended on it, and even then, I'm sure they'd negotiate." I hid a smile as Jack held out his hand, "I don't believe I've met you yet. Jack Dawson. Third class steerage at your service."

I did my best to hide smile as Officer Lowe introduced himself to Jack, but I failed. "That's one way to make light of the situation."

"Do you draw, Mr. Dawson?" Officer Lowe motioned over towards Jack's sketchbook. "I have a sister that is quite talented. She loves to sketch just about anything and everything. Her favorites are landscapes. She loves going around and just drawing whatever she feels like."

Jack picked up his sketchbook and started to flip through it and then he shut it quickly. "Perhaps this is best viewed at another time."

I looked at both of them, "Why? I may not know much about art, but I am not insulted by art which I do not understand. My brother's fiancée, Rose, loves the landscapes as well as the art which has been referred to as surreal or abstract. I admit I do not understand most of it, but I respect her admirations of the paintings she has collected."

"Miss Hockley, it's not that. It's just that, uh…" He faded off, "I draw from life."

I looked at him puzzled, "Most artists do."

"No. You don't understand. I was in Paris right before I came to England. There are girls there who, well, they like to get naked for no apparent reason. I find the human body one of the most fascinating art subjects. So, well, I drew some of them."

I looked at Officer Lowe, who remained quiet during this, and then at Jack, "And you think I can't handle a few sketches of a naked woman? You forget that I am a woman, Mr. Dawson. You wouldn't be showing me anything I haven't already viewed before. There are numerous paintings in museums in Paris as well as America that feature women that are not properly clothed."

"You're right, Officer Lowe. She definitely doesn't belong in first class." Jack opened his sketchbook, "If any of this offends you, let me know and I'll put it away." He began flipping through the different sketches he had in his book, "This was a sketch I made of Paris. See the background?"

Officer Lowe took the portfolio so he could move under a light to view it better. "This is good work. I wish you could meet my sister. She'd love to talk to you about art."

Officer Lowe handed me Jack's book so I could see. "You are an extremely talented artist, Mr. Dawson." I studied the sketch closer, "My brother's fiancée would love to meet you, too. She has an impressive collection of paintings. I'm afraid I don't understand most of them, but you do work that rivals the paintings she has."

"Thank you, and please call me Jack."

Officer Lowe mentioned he needed to finish his inspection and we told Jack goodbye. We watched as he turned to go to the third class entrance back to his state room. "Quite impressive isn't he?"

"I've seen a lot of art in my time. My brother took me to the museum in Paris when we were there, and the works Jack had in his folder could rival any of the ones in the museum, Officer Lowe."

He stopped to open the gate, "Please, call me Harold, Miss Hockley, or Harry. My family calls me Harry."

I nodded as he escorted me up the stairs, "Then please call me Maureen, I have a nickname as well, but my family believes I'm outgrowing it. My brother still uses it sometimes as do my younger nieces and nephews."

"What is it, if you don't mind my asking?"

I hesitated, "You really want to know, Harry?" He said he did, "It's Murron."

Harry looked at me, "That's different. Tell me the story. I like hearing you talk."

I blushed, "I have an older sister, Cathleen. Cal is next in line, and then I have another brother, Jonathan, and then me. I'm the youngest of four children. When my sister's daughter was born, she had a problem pronouncing my name. It wound up coming out sounding like Murron. So the name just sort of stuck. It was a pet name my brother used when we were younger, but now that I'm older, he pretty much calls me Maureen as do the rest of the family. Only in the private of our home will Cal call me Murron. Jonathan's children are still quite young, so they still use the name, but I would imagine once they get older, they'll start using my given name."

"Well, it makes sense. I have several siblings myself. We all have nicknames for each other. How many nieces and nephews do you have?"

I stopped to think as I let the cool night air rush between us. The chill in the air caused me to shiver under my shawl and realizing I was cold, Harry slipped his coat off and put it over my shoulders. I smiled at him, in a silent gesture to thank him for the warmth. "My sister Cathleen has two children. Lillian is eight and Bradley is three. My brother Jonathan has three children. His oldest is Martha and she's six. Charles is four and the baby, Ethan, is just two months old. He's such a sweet baby. Cal doesn't have any children as he hasn't been married yet, and I am just like my brother in that aspect. That's probably the only aspect we're alike. How many nieces and nephews do you have?"

Harry looked at me and smiled, "A lot more than five. It'd take me all night to tell you about them, and I'm betting it's getting close to your bed time." He took his pocket watch out, "It is late. I need to head to the front of the ship. I'm off duty in a little bit." He stopped as I began to take the coat off to give it back to him. "A true gentleman would walk you to your door."

"I know you would, but if my brother saw you with me, he might think you were the officer that made the mistake earlier and have you tossed off the ship. You wouldn't have time to put on that lifebelt."

"Then I guess I best leave you here for the night. Do you have plans for tomorrow at all?"

"I'm sure Cal will want me to have lunch with his fiancée and future mother in law. Other than that, I'll be free all afternoon. I'm to assume that you will be working?"

"Aye. I'll be here about dinner time again. Would you like to meet again after dinner? Same place?" I nodded and Harry ever so gently kissed my cheek and then opened the door to the first class entrance. "I'll see you tomorrow Maureen." He hesitated as if he was torn about doing something else, but didn't say anything. "I'll be looking forward to it."

I told him goodbye and that I'd be looking forward to meeting him as well. I made my way, very light in my step, back to my suite to dress for bed, silently praying my brother wouldn't be in the room with Rose so I could come in without being seen.

**A/N - So now the mystery of Maureen's name has been explained. Told you it'd make sense! I'll work on another chapter this weekend and hopefully get it posted Monday. I'm going to get New Moon tonight after it's released. Woo!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this has taken me so long. Busy at work. Three day weekend coming up so hopefully I can write some more of this story as well as my other story, "An Ocean of Emotion."**

**As always, thank you for those who have reviewed the story. I enjoy reading them. Please continue to read and review.**

**Chapter 4 – April 11, 1912**

Claire was brushing out my hair when Cal walked in. He held the door open for her and pointed towards the outside, "Get out. Now."

Claire curtsied and excused herself. He shut the door a little harder than necessary. As it echoed, he drew in a deep breath and stared at me with hatred in his eyes. "Last night at dinner was not the proper place to discuss your third class experience. What would the others at the table think if they heard that my sister, a Hockley, went below decks to the third class? Mother and father raised us better than that. They know we're better than steerage. So I'll ask you again, who was the officer?"

I blankly stared at Cal. I wasn't about to give him Harry's name. I had long since forgiven Harry for the mistake he made, but my brother was still on the war path about the mistake and likely would be for quite some time. "I told you. I do not remember. I didn't want to be late to dress for dinner and I was cold after going down to get my hat. Once I told him my name was Hockley, he said he was sorry, held the gate open for me and we parted company."

My brother's dark eyes were fierce with anger, "Do we need to get all of them in here? Is that what it's going to take for you to tell me the truth? He insulted you. He insulted the Hockley name. This should anger you, but for some reason, you act as if you don't care."

I started to walk towards the side door that exited out into the hallway. "I don't." As I walked by, Cal grabbed my arm and pushed me against my dresser. "Cal! Stop! You're hurting me." I started to struggle against him, but his grip on my arm only got tighter, "I told you I don't know what his name was. Why can't you let it go?"

Cal let go of my arm as he gave me a shove backwards. I stumbled as I caught myself on the vanity where Claire was brushing my hair earlier. "Have it your way. When I find out who he is, he's going to wish he was never born and rest assured when we dock, our parents will know about this and I suspect our father won't be happy with your behavior. Now hurry up and get downstairs for breakfast." He looked me over once more, "The dress is fine, but please have her do something with your hair. I don't like it down."

I looked at myself in the mirror and picked up the comb Claire was using when she walked in. "Miss, let me finish for you." I thanked her half heartedly as she combed my hair. "Would you like your hair up or down, Miss?"

Remembering what Cal told me I decided in another act of defiance to let Claire fix my hair, but to keep it down. She selected two hair clips from my drawer and pinned up my hair on either side of my face, letting my curls fall naturally behind me. Cal would be mad at my selection, but I didn't care. I touched the area where Cal had my arm and I was sure I would bruise. I didn't want to get any strange looks from other passengers on board, so I had Claire get a shawl out of my bureau and I draped it across my shoulders, hoping to hide the bruises that would show up later.

Claire finished with me and I excused her while I made my way through the common area Rose and I shared. She was sitting on the high backed chair, flipping absentmindedly through a book, "Are you going to breakfast?"

Rose looked up from her book, "I am. I'm waiting on Cal to come get us. Mother already walked down with the Astors and Colonial Gracie. She said Cal was on his way over and for me to wait on him. I guess me being engaged to him isn't enough. She wants to make sure everyone on board knows I'm his future wife." She looked down at her hand where Cal's engagement ring was, "This should be blatantly obvious to anyone. Could he have picked a bigger stone? It's like wearing a prison outfit and being chained to him."

The sore spot where Cal grabbed me throbbed at the mention of his name, "Rose, he's already gone. He was in my room earlier, demanding I tell him the truth about last night. He's got it out for the officer that made the honest mistake of me being a third class passenger. He just left out the side door in my suite. I'll walk with you though. I know I'm not as mean as my brother, but I could probably fake it well enough."

She got up and together we walked in silence towards the breakfast room. I ordered my breakfast and noticed Ruth still staring at me. Cal was busy talking to another passenger and Rose was glazed over as usual.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Maureen. Cal told me what you did. How could you shame the family name like you did? We have staff for that reason. The staff members are on that level, not you."

I just shook my head and took a drink of water from my glass, "You know what, Ruth?" She just stared. "I don't…" I bit my lower lip, "Never mind. It'll do no good."

Ruth turned her attention to another couple who were at our table and I just stared out the window as I silently ate my breakfast.

One by one, everyone started to get up to finish out the afternoon. Rose and Cal went back towards our room with the intention of spending time together on the promenade deck. I walked back to my room long enough to get a heavier shawl than the one I was wearing and headed back outside.

The wind was picking up, but it wasn't too cold. I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders and started to walk. The sun was glistening off of the ocean water and played a light show on the side of the ship. As I watched the reflections of the waves, the thoughts of Cal and him hurting me swirled through my mind as I absentmindedly wandered on deck. I passed several children playing on the decks and it made me smile thinking of Cora and Jack.

Looking around once more for Cal or that servant of his, I started towards the back of the ship. I stood behind the gate and scanned the crowd, looking for Cora or Jack.

"Maureen?"

I looked down and saw Jack, "Jack." I started to open the gate, but he beat me to it.

"Allow me." He faked an English accent well and held out his hand to escort me downstairs, "To what do we owe this to? Coming to see the governor for tea and crisps are we? Caviar will be served precisely at noon."

"I hate caviar." Laughing at his accent, I took his arm in mine and we started walking, "I just needed to escape for a little bit. If my brother found out I was down here, I'd be thrown overboard. He was none too pleased that I was down here yesterday."

"I bet, but you're what? Nineteen or twenty? You're a free woman. Do what you want."

I looked at the wooden planks on deck and traced the outline of a knot hole with my boot. "I wish it was that easy. My parents sailed back to America some time ago. Cal was in England with Rose and me, and when Titanic was rumored to sail, my parents sent word that Cal and I were to be on the ship to come back. They apparently have a suitor in mind for me."

"Do you know him?"

I shook my head, "Mother has told me who he is and I know the family name. I've never met him. Mother feels that since Cal found a wife, it's time for me to marry also. My sister and brother are married already and after Cal marries Rose, it'll be my turn since I'm the youngest." I looked around. "Where's Cora?"

Jack looked around before pointing towards the back of the ship. "Over there. I was heading back that way. I had to stop by my room and get my sketchbook. Cora wants me to draw her." He stood back a moment and looked me over, "You're very pretty. I'd love to sketch you too."

I blushed, "Thanks, Jack. I'd like that. Rose and I both complain about all the portraits we have make us look like porcelain dolls. I'd love to have one that makes me look like me, and not some rich society snob. I'm so much more than that."

Jack took my hand and led me to a bench near Cora's family. At the instant she spotted him, her eyes lit up. "Jack!" She came bounding over towards us. "Maureen!" She jumped up in the air and I caught her and hugged her, "You came to see me."

"Indeed I did. I wanted to see all of you again. Jack here says he wants to draw a picture of you and me." I nodded to acknowledge Cora's parents, who looked at me as if they were weary as to my being below decks again. "Jack, should we sit still, or what?"

He shook his head, "Just do whatever. I can sketch the two of you together."

An hour flew by as I listened to Cora talk about her family and her friends and how excited she was to be going to America. Another lady from the third class came to sit with Cora's parents. I noticed she held an infant in her arms. The baby was as mesmerized as I was about being on board. I watched as the baby's eyes darted from the people walking by to its mother to the bright sun and the clear ocean water. Cora kept on talking as I watched the baby. I told her about my doll, Alyssa, and she told me more about Amelia.

"Done." Jack blew the excess lead off of the sketch and handed it to me.

My breath caught as I stared down at the drawing. Jack had sketched Cora sitting in my lap as we both were talking. I had a genuine, true smile on my face and the emotion in Cora's face was visible even to the blind through the sketch. "Jack, this is perfect. You're a talented artist." I started to reach for my hand bag, "How much?"

"You don't need to pay me. My pleasure."

"As soon as we make it to America, I'm having this framed. This is the best portrait anyone has ever drawn of me."

"Maureen?"

I looked up to see who called me. "Harry." He walked over and sat down on the bench next to me, "How are you?"

"A lot better now." He glanced down at the drawing. "May I?" I said yes and handed over the drawing. "Jack, did you do this?"

"Guilty."

"Wow. I'm just…" Harry stopped. "Wow."

I smiled, "I wasn't too far off from your description." Harry handed the drawing back to me. "All of the portraits I have at home made me look like a delicate flower that at the slightest touch would fall apart."

Harry stood up and looked at me. Understanding what he meant, I stood up too.

"Cora, Jack, I will be back later on. I'm going to have to put this back in my state room so it doesn't get damaged." I said goodbye to everyone and walked with Harry back to the first class entrance.

"How has your day been?"

"Fine. My brother wants to hold a police lineup to find out who you are. I refuse to give him your name over the incident yesterday. He's still steamed about it." I noticed that he wasn't in uniform. "I didn't think you had to work this early Didn't you tell me you'll be on duty later?"

Harry opened the gate and shut it after we both got up on the first class decks. "Aye. I'm just out for some air before I head back to take a nap. So should I wear a bag over my head or something?"

I laughed, "No. Just like I told him, it didn't matter to me anymore, but Cal…" I trailed off, unsure how to finish my statement. "Cal is …"

Harry interrupted me, "Nothing like you. You're not your typical debutant. I have never met anyone like you. You're just the opposite of everything a first class girl should be. It's almost like you don't fit in but you're forced to."

I stopped to take in what Harry said, "I've never heard it that way before, but you're right. I don't fit in."

"Maybe you were mailed to the wrong address?"

Smiling, I thought about it, "Maybe so. My brother treats everyone beneath us like they don't matter. He yelled at the elevator attendant yesterday as we were coming downstairs for dinner after he nearly ran in to me in the elevator. I didn't think anything about it, but Cal, oh, if Cal could, I'm sure he would have gotten that attendant fired. I just don't understand why he's so vile all the time." I laughed, "Cal would have me thrown off the ship for sure if he knew about the drawing and who did it. He threatened me not to go below decks again."

"How are you going to explain the drawing then?"

"I'm not. I'll put it in one of my trunks and then when we get to New York, I'll have it framed. Cal will be married to Rose by then, and he'll rarely come around the manor. When he does, I'll just take it off the wall and put it in the closet or under my bed or something."

"Look at you. Sneaky. I like it." Harry looked down at me and started to say something, but stopped. He locked eyes with me for what seemed like an eternity before I felt the connection between us. Almost as if on cue, he put his right hand behind my neck and gently pulled me towards him. I felt my heart speed up in my chest as his lips slowly brushed against mine. "I'm so sorry, I…"

"No. Don't be. Nothing to be sorry about, Harry." I smiled and Harry kissed me again. We had just pulled apart when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around to face Rose.

"Rose, may I introduce Titanic's Fifth Officer Harold Lowe."

She extended her hand and he kissed it, "Pleased to meet you. Maureen has told me a lot about you, Rose."

"So you're the officer that she mentioned yesterday." Rose looked at Harry then at me. "Cal would kill us all if he found out about you." Her face softened, "He won't hear it from me."

I knew what she was doing. Harry apparently did to as he spoke to her. "Thank you. It was an honest mistake. Everyone seems to get that but Maureen's brother."

Rose nodded, "May I?" She motioned to the paper and I handed it to her. "Maureen." She looked up at me, "This is exquisite work. Who is the artist? I've never seen a portrait of you look so real. It's so honest." She studied the sketch again, "Who is the child?"

"Cora. Cora Cartmell. I met her the day Harry made the grave and punishable by death mistake of calling me a third class patron." I looked at Harry who knew I was only kidding. "She's a friend of the artist who drew me. His name is Jack. Nice guy. I don't know much about art like you do, but I think it's a great sketch. I was just on my way to hide it in one of my trunks when I saw Harry."

"You'd better hurry then. Cal is walking around." She handed the drawing back to me and sighed heavily. "Better hide it before he sees it." Rose said goodbye to Harry and me and walked off in the direction towards the front of the ship. She turned around to watch us, then kept walking. Something in her manner made me question what was going on.

"Will I be seeing you later on?"

I looked back up at Harry, "I should hope so. I'll be free after dinner if you'd like company."

"I could think of no one I'd rather spend my evening with." He gently kissed me on the cheek and opened the door for me as I hurried to my room to hide the drawing before Cal found it.

**A/N: Happy Easter everyone!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

After I got back to my room, I walked in my closet and dropped to my knees to open the lid of the mahogany trunk that had my initials carved into a brass plate that was attached to the lid. I opened the lid and took some clothing out and I moved aside some books and after finding a large book, I put the sketch inside the book, then I moved the clothes back on top of the books as I heard the door to my suite open.

"There you are, miss. We've been looking for you."

I stood up let the lid of my trunk drop and turned around to face Mr. Lovejoy. "Well here I am. What do you want?"

I watched as he moved across my room and gently shut the door to the common area. "Your father hired me to watch after your brother, but it appears you're the one that needs the looking after." He started to make a move towards my trunk as he entered my closet, but I quickly sat on the lid. "I see." He backed up and walked out of my closet. He started to turn away, but changed his mind. "Just keep in mind, I know about your below deck activities. I'll keep quiet on this as you know how your brother can get but if I catch you below decks once more, I'll tell him." He nodded at me then turned to walk away.

I stared at the dark wooden door after he left my room. I kept wondering how he knew about me being below decks yesterday. How he knew about the sketch and how he held it over my head that he was going to tell my brother. I just shook my head and walked to the promenade deck. After opening the door in my suite, I noticed it was empty and shut the door behind me. The room was long, but not very wide. There was a potted plant next to my door. The brass light fixtures matched the brass doorknobs and window pulls. In the middle of the room was a table with six chairs. The table had a vase with fresh cut roses in the middle. I picked a rose out of the vase and sat down in the end chair. Bringing the flower to my nose, I smelled the sweet scent and smiled.

I let my mind drift to the time below decks with Jack and Cora. He was a very nice man and she was one of the sweetest children I had met. Even my nieces and nephews weren't as honest and as friendly as she was. Cora didn't care that I was a first class debutant, nor did she care about her third class status. I made a face as I remembered my sister, Cathleen, scolding her oldest child for speaking to another child on a playground. I shook that memory out of my head as I waved the rose in the air around me. The soft scent followed the rose's trail through the air. I heard another door behind me slam and figuring that was Cal, I stood up. I kept the rose in my hands as I pushed the wooden chair back under the table and walked through the door to the common area Rose and I shared.

I looked around the room, but saw no one. I was about to walk back to the deck when I heard glass breaking coming from Rose's room. I picked up my pace and walked into her room. Shattered remains of a crystal vase were on the floor and Rose was holding some yellow tulips in her hand. "I hate daisies!" She wasn't paying attention to me and instead, threw the flowers across the room.

"Rose?"

She spun around on her heels and turned to face me. Her face was streaked with tears. Her eyes were red from crying. "Maureen." She wiped a tear off of her cheek with her hand. "Did I hit you with the vase?"

I shook my head. "No. The door frame got it." I stopped to look at her. "And the flowers are tulips, not daisies. I don't like daisies either. They're too frilly." She smiled then her shoulders started to shake and she crumbled to the ground. I dropped the rose in my hand and fell to the floor to be eye level with her. She looked at me and leaned against my shoulder as I held her in my arms while she cried.

"I can't do it. I just can't do it." She was crying harder by this time. I just tightened my grip around her. She cried harder. I felt the wetness from her tears seeping through the fabric on my dress. "I want out. God, help me. I can't do this." She broke free of my grip and sat up. "Maureen, I'm sorry." I got up and got a handkerchief out of her drawers and handed it to her as I sat back on the floor with her. She dabbed the corner of her eyes and looked at me, wearily.

"Rose, I don't pretend to know what's going on. I told you that the day we left England." I reached for her hand and took it in both of mine. I noticed she wasn't wearing her engagement ring. "I don't understand what's going on with you. Did Cal hurt you? What happened?"

Rose shook her head, "No, nothing like that." She dabbed her eyes once again with the handkerchief. "Mother was talking about the wedding plans earlier. She wanted daisies in the bridesmaids' bouquets. She knows I hate daisies. She said if I wanted lavender for the gown color knowing how much she hated that color, then I should just deal with having daisies in the bouquets." She laughed in the middle of her tears, "And I got so upset, I excused myself and took it out on the tulips when I got back to my room." She laughed even harder at her outburst. "I bet you think I'm insane." She scooted over to the door frame and began picking through the shattered remains of the crystal vase. I helped her pick up a few of the larger pieces and threw those into the waste basket in the closet.

We heard the door open. She glanced at the clock over her bed table and realizing what time it was, we knew it was either Trudy or Claire coming to dress us for dinner. She stood up and thanked me for listening to her, but something told me she wasn't telling me the whole story.

Claire dressed me in a dark purple gown with clear crystals that were sewn into one side of the dress. I remarked to her as she was dressing me that when the crystals caught the light, it reminded me of stars in the night sky. After sitting still while she brushed my hair and pinned it on top of my head, she helped me with my gloves and shoes and I walked alone to the dining hall. Rose was already seated when I arrived. She was wearing a dark red gown with black lace overlay. I complimented her on her necklace and told her it was always my favorite. She thanked me as her left hand absentmindedly traced the outline of it against her neck. I noticed when she brought her hand up to her neck, the engagement ring was back on her finger. I made a note to ask her about that later.

The staff brought the meal out and the dinner went uneventfully. Ruth and Lady Duff Gordon began talking about Rose's wedding again and I watched Rose's expression change from blank to the look she had in the suite earlier when she smashed that vase. I tried not to pay that much attention to her. Ruth and Lady Duff Gordon began talking about Rose's dress and the attendants until our dinner plates were cleared and dessert was brought out. Rose stood up and said she wasn't hungry for dessert and Ruth told her she could go back to our room. Rose put her hand on my shoulder as she walked by me. I watched as she walked towards the main entrance of the dining area.

Another half hour passed and after finishing with my dessert, I excused myself from the table to go check on Rose. I let myself in to our room, but didn't see her. I noticed the shawl she had on was in the floor by the sofa in our room. I bent down to pick it up and walked in towards her room. I opened the door, but the light was off. "Rose?" I switched the light on and gasped at what I saw. Rose's mirror was shattered. She had ripped part of the fabric off of the back of her dress. I bent down to pick up the lace accent that she ripped off. The maroon threads were still attached as evidence to Rose's mood when she tore her dress. I turned to look at the rest of the room and under the bed, a red stone caught my eye. I picked up the stone and realized that it was the large stone that was in Rose's necklace. I found smaller rubies under the bed and against the wall by the broken mirror. I quickly put the stones from her necklace into my handbag. I put the lace piece from her dress into a drawer in her closet and put the shawl on her bed. After shutting off the light, I shut the door and headed to my suite to grab a coat.

I locked the door behind me as I looked down the hallway in both directions trying to decide where to go. I didn't think that Rose had gone towards the library or the common area that the first class passengers shared, so I made a right turn out of my door and followed the thick carpet up to the wooden floor that led to the decks outside. I opened the door and the chilly night air hit me with a force that made my breath catch. I stood on deck in the dark trying to decide where to go from here.

"Maureen?"

I turned around. "Harry." He kissed me on the cheek gently when he got to me. "Thank God you're here. I need help."

He looked at me strangely but said he'd do what he could. I briefly explained Rose's behavior earlier in the suite, then the broken vase and the blank look she was giving at dinner. We started walking towards the back of the ship when a scream of terror interrupted the calm night.

"Rose!" I froze in my tracks, knowing the voice. "It's Rose!"

Harry took one look at me then took my hand in his and we broke out into a full run towards the back of the ship.

**Rose**

I couldn't run fast enough. My heels clicked against the wooden floor of the ship. People heard me running and turned around in shock as if a first class girl like myself should be running this fast. I didn't even stop. I didn't care. I noticed in front of me there was an older couple walking together. I didn't even bother to avoid them. I ran right through them.

"Excuse you!"

I didn't even turn around when the man called out to me. I just kept running. I reached the door to the first class exit to the decks and threw the door open with such force, it bounced off the wall and shut quickly before I had a chance to go through it. "Damn it.!" I cursed the door as I shoved it open even harder. I kept running, oblivious to the cold night air. I came upon the deck railing that separated the third class area from the first class area. Walking over to the corner where the rails met, I leaned far over to see the dark ocean water.

I became aware of footsteps behind me as I turned my attention towards passengers behind me. I couldn't do it here. Someone would see me. I looked around and my eyes settled on the gate that led below decks. I unhitched the lever and made my way down the steps, one at a time. When I reached the bottom of the steps, the metal gate slammed shut. I turned around to make sure no one was following me. I stopped and leaned against a large metal pipe as I looked around for a way out. I broke out into a full run towards the back of the ship. I passed several wooden benches as well as more pipes and tubes that were connected to the inner workings of the ship. When I reached the back part of the ship, I stopped. I stared out to the open ocean. The black, uninviting water below was how I'd take care of my problems. I looked behind me once more, and after seeing no one back there, I flipped the sash and train of my dress over the railings. I climbed on the bottom rail first and then I brought my other leg over, and after freeing my lace train once again from the rails, I leaned out. I closed my eyes. "Maureen, I'm sorry. I hope you understand. Please tell Cal I'm sorry. Please tell Mother I'm sorry, but I just can't do this any more. I will be in a much better place." I whispered a silent prayer to God as I opened my eyes and stared down at the unforgiving, freezing waters of the north Atlantic. As I cursed myself for not leaving a note, I prayed death would be quick. I didn't want to suffer. My mother made sure of that enough as it was. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and started to let go of the railing when a man's voice interrupted me.

"Don't do it."

I looked over my shoulder. "Go away!" I leaned out farther. "Don't come any closer. I mean it. I'll let go."

The man looked at me. I could tell he was American by his accent, but the shadow from the deck light behind me hid his face. He took a step closer to me. "Come on. Please? Give me your hand. I'll pull you over. You don't want to do this." He begged from the darkness for me not to jump.

"Go away. Now." I turned away from him. I noticed he started to slowly walk towards me. "I mean it." I leaned out farther. "I'll let go." He shook his head and I turned back to face the ocean. He whistled at me and I turned around.

He motioned to me that he wanted to throw his cigarette over the railing. I watched as it sailed over the railings and disappeared into the icy sea. He cleared his throat, "No you won't."

"What the hell! Excuse me? Do not tell me what I won't do. Damn it and damn you. You don't know me. Now leave me alone."

I heard footsteps on the deck. I looked over my shoulder again and noticed he had walked several feet closer to me. As I watched, he took his jacket off, then propped his left foot up on a pipe and began unlacing his boots. "You would have done it already. Given the fact that you're still holding on, you don't want to do this. I can't leave you. I'm involved." He stopped to unlace his other boot and threw it on the pile with the other boot and his jacket. "You've involved me in your life now, Miss. I can't let go of this. You let go, and well, I guess I'm going for a swim too."

I shook my head in disbelief. "What?"

He looked up at me. "You jump. I jump. I'm gonna just jump in right after you. We'll hit the water together. Do you know how cold the water is down there?"

I turned to face him again, "No. How cold?"

He looked over the railings, "Freezing. Maybe a couple degrees over. It's cold. Very cold. You hit the water and it's like a thousand knives stabbing you all over. I know. I went ice fishing when I was a kid." He stopped to look at me. "Ice fishing is you know where you…"

"I know what ice fishing is, damn it." I snapped at him for assuming I didn't know.

"Sorry. You just look like an indoor girl." He swallowed and muttered something under his breath and continued. "Anyway, I was fishing with my Pa. Fell through some ice. God, I was in so much pain. I prayed I would never have to feel that water again. But if you're going to jump, well, then I'll just have to suffer again for your sake."

"What?" I looked down at the ocean once more. "You don't know me. You'll die. You'll kill yourself and you don't even know me. What kind of idiot does that?"

I heard him sigh behind me. "I guess that idiot would be me. But then again, what kind of idiot hangs on to the back of a ship and tries to kill herself?" I realized then what I was doing. I turned my head slightly when I caught movement out of the corner my right eye. The man was reaching his hand up towards me. "Please. Let me help you back over." He held it waist level for me to take hold of. "Please. You don't want to do this. What about your family?"

I stared out at the ocean once more and thought of Maureen, Cal and my mother. I didn't give a damn by this time for Cal or Mother, but Maureen's face flashed through my mind. I had another flash of her, dressed in black and staring at a polished coffin. Her face was red and tears were streaming down her face. I closed my eyes and tried to blink away the tears that were forming. She was practically my sister and I couldn't do this to her. I turned my body slightly and slipped my right hand into the man's hand. I felt his fingers tighten around me as he put his right arm around my waist and held me as I turned around.

"Thank you. I really didn't want to go swimming in the middle of the north Atlantic." He looked up at me. The light from the deck above my head illuminated his face. He looked at me, genuinely concerned and had compassion in his eyes for me, a complete and total stranger. "Jack Dawson." He looked at me. "I'd offer to shake your hand, but better wait until you're over on this side of the ship."

I laughed, "Rose DeWitt-Bukater."

"Wow. I'm gonna have to get you to write that one down."

He motioned for me to climb over and I started to. I felt my foot reach the railing and as soon as I put my weight on it, I felt myself falling. "Help! Oh, God. Help me! Help me please! Help!" I looked up and noticed the grimace on Jack's face as he held me up. I turned around and looked below me and screamed. I started to struggle and my free hand felt the cold steel of the railing I was just standing on. I felt my fingers grasp the bar, even through the numbness I was feeling from the shock of the fall and the fear of the situation I was in.

"Pull yourself up. I won't let go." I nodded as I felt Jack's hand tighten on me. I started to pull myself up, but I slipped again. Another piercing scream escaped my body. "Look at me." I looked up to see Jack's face. "Pull yourself up. You can do this. I promise you, I won't let go."

With Jack's help I managed to pull myself up until Jack got his arms around my waist. With one more yank, I felt myself flip over the railings and land on the cold deck. Jack fell on top of me. My eyes locked eyes with him. "Thank you."

I heard footsteps running towards me. I looked up to see White Star Line employees running towards me.

Jack got off of me by this time as one of the employees pulled him off to the side as he yelled for another to get the master at arms.

I knew Cal wouldn't be far behind. I had some explaining to do, but I didn't know where to start.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**A/N – I originally wasn't planning on switching POVs, but after deciding where I wanted the story to go, I found it necessary to do as much or there'd be holes in my story.**

**Rose**

After I watched the master at arms dragging Jack away from me in handcuffs, I felt the weight of a heavy blanket being draped across my shoulders. I didn't even look up to see who it was. My head was down as I pulled the blanket in close to my body. I was too busy trying to think of any plan that would allow me to somehow lie well enough that I could find my way out of this. I couldn't hurt Maureen by telling her the truth of what I had tried to do. As much as I didn't give a care in the world what Cal thought, my only concern was Maureen and her feelings and I just couldn't hurt her by telling her I was about to kill myself rather than be married to her brother. I looked up at Jack, handcuffed and being searched by the master at arms. His eyes were on me. I smiled and started to say something to him, but I looked over and saw Cal coming towards us with Maureen and Officer Lowe hot on his heels.

"What the hell happened?" Cal turned around to yell at the other White Star crew standing behind the bench where I was sitting. "Who the hell tried to attack my fiancé? I demand answers and I demand them right now!" He turned to face me and put his hand against my cheek. "Are you hurt, sweet pea? What happened?" He put his hand on my cheek and I tried to pull away, but the blanket wrapped around my neck wouldn't let me.

I started to say something, but Cal's attention was turned towards his sister and Officer Lowe, who moved away from her and stood behind the crew members that presumably gave me the blanket. After speaking with the master at arms, Cal turned his attention and rage towards Jack. Maureen came to sit next to me on the bench, and I leaned in to her and she put her arms around me once more. She wasn't paying any attention to Cal's ranting or Jack being in handcuffs, yet her gaze was fixed on only one person and as my eyes followed the trail, it led right to Officer Lowe. I noticed as he shifted his eyes downwards towards her, then back up to Cal, obviously trying to keep their friendship a secret.

"This is him?" The master at arms answered Cal's question with a slight nod. Cal's anger boiled over. "Do you have any idea who I am or who you tried to attack here? I am Caledon Hockley and you tried to attack my fiancée, Rose DeWitt-Bukater. Know who that is?" Cal stopped himself when he realized what he said and snorted, "I hardly think that means anything to you someone of your upbringing." Cal folded his arms across his chest. "What made you think you can put your hands on my fiancée?" I watched as Jack's eyes slowly drifted towards me and then Maureen. "Don't look at my sister or my fiancée you filth. Your dealings are to be made with me and only me. My sister and Rose have nothing to do with. Your fight is with me. Now I ask you again, what were you trying to do to Rose?" Cal started to shove Jack backwards and being handcuffed, he stumbled on something and the master at arms caught him before he fell. "Answer me now, damn you, or you'll have hell to pay. I'll have you arrested and detained for the rest of the trip!" Cal's face was beginning to turn an even deeper shade of red from the anger boiling over inside of him. Even in the darkness of the night, I could still see how angry he was getting from my vantage point on the bench.

"Cal, stop!" I stood up and shrugged the blanket off. Maureen caught it and wrapped it back around my shoulders after I stood up. I turned to thank her, but noticed her eyes were locked with Officer Lowe's again. I had to hide a smile over my happiness for Maureen and her newfound friend. I focused on Cal trying to hurt Jack. "Cal, it was an accident." Cal started to shove Jack again, but I caught him before he hit Jack and moved in between Cal and Jack. "Stop! I'm fine. It was an accident. He didn't hurt me. I promise. He saved me. I was in a situation and he saved me. It was quite stupid really."

Cal's dark eyes went from Jack, to the master at arms, to Maureen and finally, settled on me. "Excuse me?" He looked at me and I pulled the blanket in tighter to my body. "An accident? He tried to assault you, sweet pea. How is that an accident? What'd he do? Accidently decide to hurt you as he tripped all the while taking off his boots and coat?"

I let out a small laugh, trying to hide the fear building up in me. I took a deep breath and in a rush, let my lie out. "I was leaning over."

"Leaning over? What on God's green earth were you looking at?"

I watched Cal's icy glare fixate on me. I felt a rush of the chilly night air move past my body and I shivered. "I was leaning over to see the uh…" My mind went blank. "The uh…you know…" I started to make a whirling motion with my hands.

"Propellers?"

I looked over at Maureen after she spoke. "Thank you. Yes, the propellers. You know. On the boat?" Maureen tilted her head to the side and Officer Lowe shifted his weight to his other foot and folded his arms in front of his chest. Taking that as a sign to continue, I did. "I wanted to see them. I leaned too far over and I slipped and Mr. Dawson here saved my life. If it wasn't for him, I would have gone overboard, and he about went over with me." I watched as Maureen's eyes got huge as she eyed Jack. I was guessing by the look on her face, she was too worried about me to pay any attention to the man who saved my life and now that she finally got a good look at him, she knew who he was. Did she recognize him from somewhere? Did he try something with her? It hit me at that moment that the artist that drew the sketch of her was named Jack. That Jack and the one that saved my life must be one and the same. She never did tell me his last name, but as I watched her try to read some sort of emotion in Jack's face, I decided I must be right in my thinking.

"Women and machinery do not mix." Colonial Gracie let out a hardy laugh. "I keep telling you, women need to be where they belong which is at home away from mechanical objects and let the men handle that. It's what we do. No matter what, mix a woman and a machine and a catastrophe is bound to happen. Just look what we have here." He started to laugh again and turned to walk back inside the cabins.

I looked over to see what Jack was doing. He looked at me and then over at Maureen and Officer Lowe. I silently begged him to go along with my plan. He nodded ever so slightly and said that was what happened when Cal once again demanded Jack tell him the truth. Cal, being satisfied with this answer, ordered the master at arms to let Jack go and he did. I turned my head around to give another silent thank you to Jack as I let Cal take me inside, out of the cool night air. I turned around once more to see Cal's awful manservant still standing near Jack as we walked off.

**Maureen**

"Hold it, Mister." I caught up to Jack fairly easily after Mr. Lovejoy went inside with Rose and Cal. Out of all the people on the ship that I didn't need finding out the truth of Rose's rescue, he was up there at the top right next to my brother. "You have some explaining to do." I stopped in my tracks and watched as Harry came up beside me. "I may not be a man, but even I know it's too far down and the water's far too dark to see the propellers. So what's the story on my best friend and soon to be sister in law?"

Jack looked at me, and eyed Harry suspiciously. "I didn't hurt her if that's what your friend's here for."

"Harry? No, he's here with me. He's not here to arrest you. Please, Jack. I beg of you, what happened?"

"She was trying to kill herself."

"What?" I felt the color drain out of my face and I stumbled backwards until I felt Harry. "She what? Jack? Rose tried to…" I faded off as Harry led me to a bench on the opposite side of the ship and as I sat there and tried to wrap my head around what Jack was telling me, he continued with his story.

"She came running by me like a mad woman. I was on the bench you're on, but I was watching the stars and just thinking to myself about what I wanted to do when the ship docked and was about to head inside for the night when I heard these footsteps come running. She ran by me and I looked over and saw her. She looked like she didn't know what she wanted to do, so I waited. She stopped at that pipe over there and bowed her head. I thought she was praying but when she looked up, it was clear she was crying and not praying. I watched her climb over the rails and prepare to let go."

"Are you sure? Did she say she wanted to die? That just doesn't sound right. I just can't imagine Rose trying to kill herself. It doesn't make any sense." Harry sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders as I began to cry. The thought of Rose killing herself was almost too much to entertain.

"Well, seeing as how I've never seen anyone want to kill themselves before and never by wanting to jump overboard of a ship in the middle of the Atlantic, I'd say yeah. She did. She was crying. Her dress was torn and she looked like she was carrying the weight of a thousand mountains on her shoulders. What's going on with her, Maureen? What could make her think she has no way out? There's always a way."

I was still too upset to speak, wiping tears away from my eyes as fast as they could fall. "I think I can answer this for Maureen. I've been working on ships like this for years. You wouldn't believe how many first class debutants are forced into a marriage to a person they don't love or really don't even know. If I had to guess, Rose doesn't have a choice in the matter, does she?"

"Harry's right." I managed to get two words out before the tears started to fall again. I took a moment to compose myself. "She was upset earlier in our room. She smashed up a mirror and broke a vase against a wall. I just had no idea she was going to try to kill herself. I knew I should have pressed her harder or made her tell me what was going on earlier but she said she was fine and everything was going to be alright, but I didn't ever think she'd do this to herself. It just never occurred to me that she was this unhappy in her life. This is all my fault." I dabbed more tears then looked at Jack. "I owe you my life for saving Rose's life. If I had just held my ground earlier in the room and forced her to tell me what was going on, this could have been avoided. I…"

"Maureen, you can't blame yourself for this. Do you honestly think Rose would have told you the truth? Do you honestly think she'd tell you 'Hey, Murron' or whatever it is she calls you, 'I'm about to go jump off the back of the ship and kill myself because the thought of living the rest of my life legally bound to your brother who is really a bastard in disguise makes my skin crawl so I'd rather freeze to death in the Atlantic than spend one more waking moment with him? Wanna watch as I jump to my death to get out of a marriage contract I don't wanna be in?' if you asked her to tell you the truth? Hell, Maureen. I've only met him this once and even I want to jump overboard. How in God's name did you survive living with the man and being related to him, too?"

"Jack's right, Maureen. While I doubt Rose would have been that colorful in her description, you get the idea." Harry smiled at Jack's wording, "I think she would have lied to you then, just like she did a few hours ago. Plus, a few hours ago, she may not have even thought about killing herself then. The thought may have just come to her as she was running. You don't know that, but I do agree with Jack in that if Rose did plan this, she probably wouldn't have told you. She may have thought you were going to go find Cal or find someone to pull her back and she'd miss her chance."

"Harry, Rose knows I'd never betray her like that." I stopped to think about it, "No. I'm wrong. I would do that. You know you're right, Jack." I stopped to draw in a deep breath, "If she did tell me she was going to kill herself, you're right. I'd get Ruth or Cal or someone to try to help her out of it." I stood up, ready to head inside. "Jack, thank you. We'll see you at dinner tomorrow?" Harry looked at me confused, "Cal invited Jack to join us at dinner tomorrow so we could show appreciation for saving Rose's life."

Jack said he'd be there and as he went to the third class entrance, Harry led me up the gate to the first class areas. He made a noise in exasperation as he opened the gate to allow me to pass, "You mean so Cal and Rose's mother can keep an eye on him and keep him away from Rose?"

I sighed, "Or because Cal really doesn't believe Rose. I know that awful manservant of my brother's. He said something to Jack, but I didn't get a chance to ask him what it was before he left." I turned around, but Jack was nowhere to be found. "I'll ask him tomorrow." We walked to the entrance to my state room. Harry drew me into an embrace. As I felt his arms tighten around me once again, I relaxed into his arms. "Thank you." I looked up at him, "For being there for me."

He kissed me gently on my lips, "Any time." I moved aside so he could open the door for me. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I nodded, "I should hope so. When do you work?"

"Afternoon shift. I'll be off work after dinner. Same place? Same time?"

I said I'd meet him after dinner and after a longer kiss, I reluctantly made my way through the door and followed the plush carpeting until I got to my state room door. As I started to put the key in the lock, I could already hear Cal yelling at Rose. Sucking in a deep breath, I unlocked the door and opened it, unsure as to what I'd find.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Taking a deep breath, I put my key in the lock as quietly as I could. I could hear my brother yelling at Rose through the main door to our suite. I quietly pulled the key out of the lock and held it in my hand as I exhaled slowly as Cal continued his rantings with Rose.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

Rose must have been on the opposite end of the room as I could barely make out what she said. "I told you. I slipped and it was an accident. That man didn't attack me. That man saved me from going overboard and he almost went over himself."

My brother threw something that shattered against a wall when he yelled at Rose, asking her why she was out so late at night. I thought to myself that what he threw was either a brandy glass or a champagne glass. I heard footsteps behind me in the hall and as quietly as I could, I unlocked the door to my bedroom from the hallway. I was careful to not make any noise as I softly stepped to the closet door in my bedroom so I could hear what Rose and Cal were arguing about.

"Because I needed air before bed, Cal. I always take a walk before bed when we travel. Traveling always makes me nervous."

"Where the hell was my sister? Why didn't you have an escort? Lovejoy would have gone with you!"

Rose scoffed, "Maureen and I do not need babysitters, Cal. We are both ladies!"

"Ladies? Ladies!" Cal threw something else that hit my bedroom door. It startled me and I took a step back and hit my dressing bureau, knocking my hairbrush to the floor. It hit the wooden floor and made a noise. I quickly hid in my closet behind the door when I heard Cal walking towards my room. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I heard the door open. "Maureen?" He stepped in the room as I moved some of my gowns to hide me in case he looked in my closet. Staying hidden behind the door, Cal turned my bedroom lights on. "Maureen? Sister, are you here?" I heard him clear his throat before he shut the door, leaving the lights on. "We'll finish this talk tomorrow before breakfast. Have one of the attendants check on Maureen before they retire for the evening. I want to make sure she is okay. Goodnight, sweet pea." Cal's footsteps moved away from the center of the room and after he opened the door, he left the room, slamming the door hard enough to shake the glass shades of the lights on the wall in my room.

"God damn you, Caledon Hockley! You and your entire family!" I heard Rose throw something at the door before I heard something scrape across the wood floor.

Seeing that as my cue, I straightened my dress and left my shawl and handbag on the bed. "Rose?" I opened the door slowly. "Are you...Oh, Rose." From where I stood in the doorway to my room, I could see the handprints on Rose's arms. Cal had grabbed her hard enough to leave bruises on her arms. Her skin was as pale as mine and the sharp contrast of the forming bruises stood out, even in the dim lights of our sitting room. I rubbed the bruise on my arm that Cal left for me earlier. "What happened?"

Rose sat down in one of the chairs and started crying. "We had a little disagreement. It was my fault."

I sat down next to Rose, "I'm sorry. I really am. I knew my brother was a bastard, but I didn't know how bad until now." I raised the sleeve of my gown to show Rose my bruise. "This was from earlier. He got mad at me when I wouldn't tell him about Harold. He's still mad about the first day on board. He grabbed me and shook me before I lost my balance and almost tripped."

Rose's fingers touched the bluish brown bruise that contrasted sharply with my pale skin. "I can't do this anymore." Rose took off her engagement ring and held it in her hand. "I should open a port window and throw this out. This thing is like wearing chains. Such a token should mean that someone is loved. This ring means I'll never be free another day in my life and I can't do this. I just can't." Rose stood up and started towards her room. "Please don't say anything to anyone. You're the only one I can trust."

"Rose, what do you plan to do? Are you going to try to kill yourself again? I can't bear the thought of you..."

Rose cut me off, "No, no." She left the doorway of her room and hugged me. "I promise I won't do that. I do need your help though."

"Sure. Anything."

"I need your help tomorrow. I'd like to thank the gentleman who saved me. I know you've been below decks before and I'd like you to help me. You know if we vanish, we won't have that much time until Cal dispatches Lovejoy to find us. Since you know your way around, we can find him more quickly than if I went down below on my own."

I wiped tears off of my face, "Sure. Tomorrow after breakfast, we'll go find him."

We said our goodnights and we went to our rooms. Claire was waiting for me and after helping me change, she left me alone to sleep. I climbed into bed and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, Rose and I got dressed and headed to breakfast together. We didn't even bother to wait on Cal or Ruth. Rose and I found a table by a window and started talking. I was telling her about Harold when she looked up behind me and started to smile. I turned around in my seat and saw Harold and another officer talking to another passenger about two tables away. Harold saw me and after telling the other officer something, he came to our table.

"Miss Hockley. How are you?"

I blushed at hearing his voice say my name, "Quite well and you sir?"

He smiled, "The morning has suddenly taken a turn for the better."

"You remember Rose, correct? My brother's fiancee?" I looked over at Rose as she blanched at being referred to in that matter. "Care to join us for breakfast?"

"I do remember you, Rose. I'd love to join you for breakfast, but Moody and I came down for some coffee before we retire to our rooms before our shift later on tonight. The coffee in the officers' hall doesn't taste good. We're heading back to our rooms plus with your brother gunning for my head on a silver platter, better not tempt fate but do realize I would be honored."

Harry said goodbye to Rose and me before he and the other officer got coffee. He smiled on his way out of the breakfast room, stopping to look at me before he left the room right before Cal walked in as he and Ruth stopped to speak to the Countess of Rothes before joining Rose and me.

Rose remained stoic through breakfast as she did her best to fake interest in the gossip and small talk that was going on around us. After breakfast, I went for a walk and wound up in the library to get a book to read. I went back to my state room to read the book I had selected. I had been reading almost an hour when I heard Cal and Rose leaving to go have lunch. Seeing that as my cue, I shut my book and left it on my bed as I told Claire I was going out to take the air on the boatdeck and stop by the library afterwards for another book but would be back in time to dress for dinner.

I left my stateroom and started walking in an aimless direction on the boat deck. I wanted to make sure that if Lovejoy was following me, he'd see I was just out walking around to pass the time until dinner. Eventually, I made my way slowly towards the entrance to the third class area of the ship. After checking for anyone who would tell my brother where I was going, I slipped below decks and quietly shut the gate down to their deck area. After checking the boat deck, I didn't see Jack or Cora. I went into the third class common area and stepped slowly down the stairs leading towards the large open room. I couldn't help but notice as I walked that people in the area would stop and stare at me. I did my best to appear as friendly and approchable as possible, but most people refused to meet my eyes. I finally spotted Cora when I heard her innocent laugh from across the room.

"Hello Jack. Cora."

At the sound of her name, the little girl I had become quite attached to over the past couple days jumped up and off of the chair she was sitting in and ran straight to me. "Maureen! Did you come to play cards with me and Jack?"

I put Cora down and sat down on the chair next to the one she got out of. Jack took his seat at the table across from me as Cora finally quit bouncing up and down long enough to sit back down. "I can if you'll teach me. I'm not very good at cards at all I'm afraid. What are you playing?"

Cora went on to happily explain to me a card game that she and Jack made up. The person with the highest card of the deal lost. "The way you win is to make sure you have no cards left." She smiled broadly when Jack laid his card down on top of her three of clubs. "Jack's got a ten of diamonds. He loses. Simple, right?"

"I'll let you and Jack finish this round, then you I can play the next game if that's okay."

Cora and Jack went back to playing the hand of cards and as I watched, I could tell Jack was cheating so Cora would win. I smiled to myself at how sweet he was being to allow her to win like he was. Every few hands, he'd win one of the rounds, but in the end, it was Jack that was holding most of the cards. Cora happily laid down her last card, a two of diamonds and when Jack put the three of hearts on top of her card, she squealed in delight when she realized she won the game. "I won again! Jack hasn't won a game against me yet. I must be really good at this game."

Jack looked at me, silently telling me to keep his secret that kept Cora so happy. "You are very good at this game. Well done." Jack smiled when he realized I wasn't going to say anything.

"Excuse me, miss? Are you lost?"

I looked over my shoulder at a White Star Lines employee standing behind me. "No, I do not believe I am. Why do you ask?" I handed Cora the card deck and she began shuffling through them. "Do I appear lost? Should I get lost so you can galliantly find and rescue me?"

The employee looked over my shoulder at Jack and Cora as she began to deal the cards, leaving three neat piles on the table. "It's just that, well, this is the third class and forgive me for this, but you don't look like you belong here. Are you in some sort of trouble?"

"Jack, Cora, if you'll excuse me, I'll be right back." I left Jack and Cora where they were as I started walking towards the entrance to the third class area. I was about to give the employee a lecture when I opened the door at the top of the stairs to go outside where it was more private. "Rose?"

She looked over at me and looked surprised to see me, "Maureen?"

I realized the employee was still standing next to me, "No, sir. We are not lost. We're visiting friends. Now if you'll excuse me, my sister in law needs my help and before you ask, she's not lost either. Good day."

Rose watched as the employee left the two of us alone. He cast one lone glance at us before shaking his head and leaving the boat deck when he opened the door to an employee area. "Problem?"

I shook my head, "Just ignorance. They act as if a first class lady has no business being down here. I was just playing cards with friends and I get bombarded with questions. It's insulting. What are you doing out?"

"Getting away from everything. I wanted to find the gentleman who helped me last night. I need to thank him and offer him once more a chance to be rewarded monetarily for his deed. Since you seem to know your way around, can you help me find him as we talked about last night? All I remember is that his name started with a J and he had an American accent. He wasn't from Europe. Know of where we should look?"

I took Rose's arm in mine and after looking down the boat deck once more for my brother or that awful manservant of his, I opened the gate to the third class and went through the door back to the common area I was just in. "His name is Jack and he'll be down here right now. Most of the passengers on this level gather in the common area during the daylight hours. We'll find him. He was down here playing cards with the little girl from the sketch you saw."

Rose opened the door and when the sounds and sights of the third class registered with her, she smiled. "I'm envious actually."

"Of what?"

I watched as Rose looked slowly around the room. "This. All of it. When was the last time a gala we went to looked and sounded like this?" Rose started to laugh when she saw a couple of men in front of us arm wrestling on a table off to one side of the room. They weren't American and from where we stood, I couldn't tell what language they were speaking. "Sounds like they're both from different countries. I know the one man is speaking French. The other man, I can't tell what he's speaking, but it's not French. They're not even speaking the same language, yet they're communicating so much without saying anything."

"Maureen?"

I turned around and saw Jack carrying Cora. "Jack, I hope you remember Rose from last night. She came to speak to you."

I watched as the look Rose was giving Jack caught me off guard. I haven't seen Rose look at anyone like this ever before. "I'm glad we found you." Rose smiled at Cora. "And who is your friend, Mr. Dawson?"

Cora smiled, "Cora Cartmell. You're pretty. Do you know Maureen? She's my best friend."

"She's my best friend, too." Rose reached out for my hand and held it for a moment before she let it go. She looked at Jack again and as I watched, I could tell there was something going on there, but I didn't know what. "Mr. Dawson, I was wondering if I may have a word with you? It's about what happened last night."

"Cora, go find Fabrizio or your parents. I'm needing to talk to Rose and Maureen and I'll be right back. You can sit by me at supper." Jack put Cora down and after she told him not to be late, the three of us made our way towards the boat deck.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to give you two some privacy. I'll be in the library, Rose, when you get done. We can dress for dinner together." I started to walk off when Rose called out to me.

"Stay, Maureen. You already know what happened last night. It's not like it's any big secret or anything. I owe both of you a huge debt of gratitude."

Jack opened the door leading out to the deck and held it open for Rose and me to exit through. I blinked a few times as we stepped out from the dimly lit hallway and into the bright April sunshine. "Ladies, how are you today?"

I looked at Rose. She didn't say anything, so I did. "Doing well I think." I thought back to the earlier unexpected visit by Harry. "Actually, I know I am doing well today. Very well. I take it you let Cora win that card game on purpose? I saw what you were doing." Rose looked confused, "Down below before I found you, Cora and Jack were playing cards and Jack kept mixing up his stack so he'd be able to let Cora win the hand." Rose smiled when she understood. "I saw how Cora looked at you during that game. That was something special to her."

"It was my pleasure to let her win. I knew it'd make her happy and that was all that matters."

"Mr. Dawson, Maureen tells me you're the one responsible for the sketch of Cora and her? The one she had yesterday?"

Jack smiled, "Yep. That's me."

"I must compliment you on your amazing art perception. I've seen art from every painter and sculptor in the finest museums in New York, Pittsburg, Philadelphia and in London, Paris and in Munich and I have never seen someone capture the emotions in one sketch as you did in that one of Maureen." Rose closed her eyes. "It was incredible. You have an extraordinary amount of talent."

"Well thank you and please, call me Jack. I love to draw and always have loved it. I move around a lot and whenever I see something that is pleasing to me, I make sure I put it down on paper so I can relive the memory as much as possible. Who are some of your favorite artists?"

"Well, currently I have several pieces by Picasso in our stateroom right now. I've also got several Monet pieces. My current love is the individualism movement painters especially William Glackens, Robert Henri and Ernest Lawson. Their artwork forces you to alter your mindset about art and about life." Rose walked over to the railings of the ship and stared out at the open ocean. "It really speaks to me."

"Me too. I've been to the basement of the Louvre in Paris and…"

Rose gasped, "You've been in the basement? How did you do that? Even Cal with all his money couldn't get us downstairs."

"I know people." Rose looked at him as if she didn't believe him. "I may be a pauper, but I can be persuasive and a bit resourceful. I needed some extra money so I did some cleaning work there a bit ago and it gave me a chance to work around one of my passions. Part time work mostly, but it gave me inside access to the Louvre."

"I would love to go with you to the museums in New York when we dock in a few days, but that'll probably never happen." Rose turned her attention from the ocean to Jack. "I would love to have someone accompany me who appreciates art. My fiancé doesn't understand it nor does he want to. If it can't make him money, he doesn't care."

"Why can't you go with me?"

Rose shook her head, "You don't understand the life that Maureen and I are a part of. The rules don't have much give in them at all."

"I may not understand the finer points of caviar, but I understand freedom and rules are meant to be broken or bent."

"I hate caviar!" Rose's grip on the railings tightened. "I absolutely hate it."

"Remind me never to offer you caviar, then. Sorry." Jack cleared his throat, "All I'm saying is that you are a free woman. If you want to go to a museum, go."

Rose started laughing, "Free? Oh, now that is humorous." She started laughing harder until she got Jack and me laughing. "Freedom is for men, Mr. Dawson. Maureen and I are women."

"Yeah, I kinda gathered that from the dresses and the fancy hair ribbons you both wear. In all my travels, I've yet to see a man dressed up in a frock like that."

"That's not what I meant, Mr. Dawson."

"Fine, Rose. Tell me what you meant." Jack crossed his arms and leaned against the railings. "I'm dying to know."

Rose started to walk off, but Jack and I caught up to her quickly. "We're women and we're expected to do what our husbands want us to do. Cal doesn't like museums. He never has. I'm supposed to like what Cal likes and that's sporting events. I hate polo as much as I hate caviar. Because of the rules that are a part of our society, I have to suffer in silence."

"So speak up. Go. Just head out to the horizon whenever you want to go. Make up your mind to go visit an art gallery or a museum and go."

"I wish it were that easy." Rose let out a heavy sigh. "But it's not."

The three of us continued on our journey around the ship. We took Jack up to the first class boat deck. As we walked, he got the same strange looks I got when I went below decks to find Jack and Cora. Almost an hour later, Jack finally asked the question that sent our conversation down an entirely different path. "Well, Rose. We've walked around the boat deck together for about a mile. I've heard how Maureen grew up with a bastard for a brother and you both heard how I grew up and where I was, but I'm betting that's not why you wanted to talk to me or why you wanted Maureen to stay up here with us, now is it?"

"Maureen, Mr. Dawson, I…"

"Jack. Please. Just call me Jack."

Rose looked over at Jack as we started to walk towards the railings again so we could talk more privately and get away from the people that were walking on deck. "Okay, Jack. I wanted to thank both you and Maureen for what you did. Jack, I wanted to thank you for pulling me back and not letting me go. Maureen, I wanted to thank you and Jack both for your discretion and covering for me. I wouldn't even want to imagine what would have had happened if Cal found out the real story about what happened up on deck last night."

"Rose, I already told you. You're practically my sister and I'd do anything for you." I reached for one of her hands and held it in mine. "Even if it means lying to my bastard brother." I saw Rose start to smile at the way I just spoke. "See, I knew it."

"And you're welcome from me as well. It was my pleasure to help out."

Rose was quiet a moment before she turned to face Jack and me. "I know what you must be thinking, 'Poor little rich girl, what does she know about misery?' Why does she want to kill herself? She's got it all. She's got the luxury and the riches and here she is, about to fling herself off of the back of the ship and end it all.'

Jack started to shake his head, but he let Rose finish before he said anything. "No, no, that's not what I was thinking. What I was thinking was, what could've happened to this girl to make her feel she had no way out?"

Rose brought one of her hands to her face. "It was…It was all of it. It was Cal. He's an unimaginable bastard." Rose gasped when she realized I was still here. "I'm sorry, Maureen, but he is."

I tried to hide a smile, but I failed. "I know he is. I'm his sister, remember?"

"I knew you'd understand, but back to why. My life was and still is spiraling out of control. I have no control over my own life. I never have. Can you imagine living in a life where even the simplest of tasks like picking out a gown to wear to an event aren't even in your control?"

"Yes, I can. My parents raised me like that as well." I sighed, knowing what Rose was saying was true. I may not be engaged like Rose was, but I knew once we docked in New York and went to Philadelphia and Pittsburgh for the wedding, it'd be my turn to be just as miserable as Rose is.

"Do you love him?"

Rose looked at Jack, "Excuse me?"

"Do you love him? It's not a hard question."

"And it's not appropriate." I took Rose's hand and started to walk off, but Jack stopped us. "You have no right."

"Maureen's right. This is not a suitable conversational topic for us. We barely know you."

Jack stayed where he was in front of us as he continued to block our way around him, "Why can't you answer the question? Do you not love the man and you're scared his sister is here standing next to you and you're worried she'll find out the truth and tell him?"

"No." Rose dropped my hand. "Maureen would never betray me like that. I know her and again, this is not proper. This is absurd. I don't know you and you don't know me and we are not having this conversation at all. You are rude and uncouth, and presumptuous, and Maureen and I are leaving now." Rose reached out and shook Jack's hand. "Jack... Mister Dawson, it's been a pleasure. I've sought you out to thank you, and now I have thanked you."

Jack moved around us and stood next to a life boat. "And now you both have insulted me. Some ladies you two are."

"Excuse me?" I looked at Rose. "How did we insult you?"

"Maureen, that doesn't matter." Rose started to walk off. "He deserved it." She turned around and faced Jack, "Wait, I don't have to leave, this is my part of the ship. You leave." She pointed towards the back of the ship. "Go."

Jack started to laugh, "Now who's being rude?"

"I can't believe you just turned the tables that quickly." Rose noticed Jack was carrying a leather portfolio. She snatched it out of his hands. "And what is this stupid thing you're carrying around?" She opened the portfolio and started to slowly flip through the sketches. "Jack, I know you said you liked art and loved to draw, but these…" Rose moved out of the way of a couple as they walked towards the front of the ship. She sat down on a deck chair and I took the seat next to her as Jack sat down in front of us. "This is exquisite. I knew that when I saw the drawing you did of Cora and Maureen. These are superb."

"I lived in California for a while and did portraits on Santa Monica pier for ten cents a piece. I left there and came to Europe and eventually, I was in Paris. They didn't think too much of my sketches in old Paris."

Rose looked surprised, "Paris? I knew you said you were there for a little bit. Where were you before that?"

Jack shrugged, "All over. England. Russia, Germany and even made a stop in Spain."

"Well." Rose looked at another drawing and closed the book as a person walked by us. She opened the book back up and I saw that it was a partially nude woman lying on a bed. "You do get around for a po…" She stopped herself when she realized what she was about to say. "For a person of, uh, limited means."

Jack laughed again, "Go on. You can say it. A poor guy."

Rose looked up from the portfolio, "I was trying not to be rude." She continued to flip through the sketches. "And these were all drawn from life?"

"Yep. That's the one good thing about Paris: there's a lot of girls willing to take their clothes off."

I looked up at Jack, unsure of how to respond. "I'll have to take your word on that."

Rose flipped through more of the sketches. She pulled one of them out of the stack and held it next to another drawing. "This girl? You've used her several times. Was she one of your favorite models?"

Jack took the sketch from her, "Yes. This was Corrine. She was one of my favorites. She had beautiful hands and a stunning smile."

Rose took the drawing back from Jack and put it back in the folder, "Appears you had a love affair with her."

"No, no, no." Jack shook his head and got the sketch book back from Rose. He flipped to another drawing. "She was a one legged prostitute. See?"

I took the sketch from Jack and held it to where Rose and I could both see it, "Oh, I see. Wow." Rose took the sketch from me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply…"

"It's okay. Oh, and this one." Jack took the sketch book back again. "This lady here we called Madame Bejeaux. See how her clothes are all moth eaten? She'd put on every piece of jewelry she owned and sit at this bar, night after night, just waiting on her love to come back to her. It was sad, really. The bartender said she had been sitting there every night for over four months when I saw her. I left Paris and if I had to guess, she's still sitting there."

"You see people, Jack. You have a gift. You have an artistic eye. That's a gift very few people have." Rose handed the sketchbook back to Jack.

"I see the two of you."

Rose looked at me, "And?"

"Rose, you wouldn't have jumped. Maureen, you're as innocent as Cora is. Both of you need to find what makes you happy and never let it go. Both of you have a passion about you that is just dying to break free."

We got up and started walking again. Rose stopped just inside the covered area leading to the hallways to the staterooms. "I want to be able to just head out for the horizon whenever I want to. I want to just be able to catch a train and stay on it until I have a vision about moving to a town or a feeling telling me to get off."

"Then decide. Decide to do it and then go."

I watched as Rose closed her eyes and I could only imagine what she was dreaming about. "I'd love to just go. I'd love to just buy a train ticket, go to California and go to that pier you sat at and drink beer and ride the roller coasters on the beach and ride horses, right in the sand."

Jack smiled, "Now that's the spirit. Of course, if you rode with me, you'd have to ride a horse the right way. None of that side saddle stuff."

"Maureen and I don't know how to ride that way. Teach us?"

"Sure. I'll teach you both if you want. We could ride all day long, then gorge ourselves on whatever we wanted at the fair. There's always a carnival or a fair going on there."

"Riding horses." Rose fixed her gaze on the ocean water. "In the sand like a cowboy. Oh, mother would kill me. She'd absolutely disown me if she saw me."

"My mother would be none too pleased also." I started laughing, "And imagine Cal's expression if he caught us." I started to laugh harder. "He'd have us both committed to a sanitarium"

Rose started to laugh with me, "That's all the more reason to go." She turned to Jack. "Teach me to ride like a man."

Jack smiled, "And chew tobacco like a man."

Rose grimaced, "And…spit like a man."

"Then let's go." Jack took one of Rose's hands and one of mine and led us over to the railings. "No time like the present. Now watch and learn." Jack made a sound like he was about to vomit before he spit into the ocean. "See? Now you try."

"No! Jack what if someone sees us? My brother's up here somewhere. I'd rather not remember my swimming lessons in the middle of the north Atlantic."

"I will." Rose stepped up and spit. "How's that?"

Jack shook his head, "Pathetic. You really have to arch your neck and do it like this." Jack demonstrated the technique earlier. I had to turn around to keep from getting sick. The sounds he was making when he was giving Rose spitting lessons were making me nauseated. "Maureen? You look a little pale."

I held my hand up, "I'm fine. I just can't handle that right now." I turned around after Rose and Jack went back to spitting. "Rose!" I turned around to face the two of them. "Your mother!"

Rose turned around quickly to face her mother, the Countess of Rothes and Molly Brown heading our direction. "What in God's name is going on here? Maureen, does your brother know about your new little friend here?"

I noticed as Molly put her hand on her hip and shook her head in disgust, "My brother does know." I said the words quickly, hoping I'd be able to lie.

"Mother, may I introduce Jack Dawson. He's the one that saved me when I slipped last night."

I heard the Countess gasp as she put her hand to her face, "Mr. Dawson. What an extraordinary act."

"It was nothing." Jack looked at me. I noticed he had a bit of drool on his chin. I motioned for him to wipe it off as Rose went on to explain what happened last night, or at least went on to tell everyone the abbreviated version of events.

"Well, Jack. Sounds like you're a handy man to have in a sticky situation." The dinner horns sounded as Molly finished speaking. "Why do they insist on announcing dinner like a damn cavalry charge?"

I heard Rose let out a nervous laugh as she put her arm through mine and we started towards the entrance to the hallway. "See you at dinner, Jack."

I turned once more to watch Molly leading Jack away and wondered what she had in store for him as Rose practically drug me down the hallway. "Please don't tell your brother. I'll see you at dinner."

I watched as she quickly opened the door and left it open for me to shut. She shut the door to her bedroom as I went back to mine to wait on Claire to help me dress.

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update. Writers block both this story and my other Titanic story. I'm gonna try to fight through it and update again soon. Enjoy!**

**I know I butchered some of the lines from the movie and added my own so the story would flow better, so no flames.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Hold your breath, Miss Hockley." Claire put her hands on the ties of my corset as I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes and waited on the pain to begin. The first couple of pulls that she did didn't hurt, but when she got another two pulls on the laces, my insides began to ache. Finally on the seventh pull, she tied off the laces and looped them through the inside of my corset. "I know you must be uncomfortable. I do try to be as gentle as possible."

"It's a corset, Claire. They're not meant to be gentle, but I do appreciate the patience you show when you're tying it. Before you were hired, we had an attendant that was very rough with me when she tied my corset. She cracked one of my ribs when she pulled on it too tightly. My father asked her not to come back."

I watched as Claire went to my closet to select a gown for dinner. "Do you have a preference, Miss Hockley?" I shook my head and Claire disappeared inside my closet. She came out a moment later holding a dark burgundy colored silk gown with an embroidered and beaded net across the bodice. "This one has been my favorite if you don't mind me saying. I saw it when I was packing your belongings for the trip. I absolutely love the train of this dress. It's truly a perfect fit for royalty." Claire hung it on a hook on the closet door as she laid out the gloves and shoes that matched the dress. As she began to undo the clasps on the back of the dress, I got a good look at it. The back of the dress was trained and had black silk satin tails falling from the empire waistline to the train and gradually ending with beaded accents above the fringed trim. The embroidered motifs were roses, buds and leaves and had been accented with heavy beading and according to what my father said in the letter he sent with the dress, it was handmade from one of the finest shops in Philadelphia. Claire turned it around to unfasten the sash and I saw a smaller version of the flowers on the bodice repeated at the sides of the overskirt which fell open to the hemline where it was trimmed with the beaded fringe that matched the beading on the other part of the gown. "Your father selected this dress for you, correct?"

"Yes. He did. He had this shipped to me when I was in England in finishing school. He sent a correspondence with it asking me to wear it on board Titanic. This is perfect, Claire. Absolutely perfect." I sat down on the stool as Claire brushed my hair out. I closed my eyes and relaxed as she ran the brush through my hair as I tried to forget about the dull aching throb in my midsection from having my corset on. When Claire stopped brushing my hair, I opened my eyes to see her looking through one of the drawers in my vanity for the matching hair clips. After finding what she needed, Claire went back to brushing my hair and before long, my hair was held in place with the burgundy hair clips that matched the dress. The top of the clips had rubies fastened to them with small black beads used around the bigger gems as accents.

Claire helped me into my dress and laced my boots for me before handing me my gloves. I put them on and after checking myself in the mirror, I left my bedroom and knocked on the door to Rose's room. Trudy answered and said that she was about done. Rose had on a gown that was several shades darker than the one I had on. Hers had Swarovski crystals sewn into the dress that tapered downwards to the train. I watched as Trudy took a jeweled hair accessory and after pinning it on top of Rose's head, she looped the wire around her upswept hair style, stopping in a few places to attach pins so the headband didn't come loose. Trudy left Rose sitting on the vanity and as I watched Rose, I could tell she was a bit more happy than normal. "Almost ready, Maureen. I promise I won't make you late."

"That's fine. I'm not in any big hurry. Has my brother already been down?"

"No, ma'am. He sent word through Patricia that he would be accompanying Mrs. DeWitt-Bukater to dinner." Trudy turned her attention back to fastening a bracelet on Rose's wrist that would act as a place to hook the train of her dress to while she walked. Rose's bracelet matched the beading in her dress and after Trudy put on Rose's earrings and necklace, she announced we were done and we could leave for dinner.

Rose and I left the room and started walking slowly towards the grand staircase. "Jack will be meeting you there? I didn't ask my brother."

"He's supposed to. I do hope he found something to wear. I don't mind what he wears, but you know how these money hungry socialites can be. He won't even be allowed through the deck doors if he has on what he had on earlier." Rose and I approached one of the doors and an employee held it open and smiled. "Maybe that's what Mrs. Brown was doing for him. She did lead him off deck as we left."

"Maybe." I slowed my pace when I noticed some officers ahead of us. I tried to see if I recognized anyone, but I didn't see Harry. "This is the part of the day I hate the most. Bland food and boring conversation." Another employee held the door open to the room that was off of our hallway that led down to the grand staircase area of the ship. Rose looked over the banister for Jack and didn't see him. I kept my eyes open looking for Harry. As Rose and I started walking, I heard someone approaching from behind. "Harry. Good evening."

Rose turned around to see who I was speaking to. She said she'd wait for me and walked away a few feet from where Harry and I were to give us some privacy. "If I may be so bold, I must say, you look stunning this evening. I can't take my eyes off of you." He lifted my left hand and gently kissed it before letting my arm fall back to my side. "You are beautiful."

"Thank you. You know how to make a girl blush. Will you be joining us for dinner? My brother invited the man who saved Rose's life from the other night when she slipped to join us for dinner."

Harry looked confused, "Slipped? I thought she…"

I shushed him, "The story we're telling everyone is that she slipped. Jack, you and I are the only ones who know the truth and Rose would prefer if it stayed that way. My brother and her mother do not need to find out the truth about what happened." I started to let my mind wander to what Cal would do to Rose if he found out the truth. I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head. "In any event, I didn't know if officers were allowed to eat with the passengers."

"We're not supposed to, but a few of us do. I'd rather not risk it but I will be happy to provide an escort for you." Harry held out his arm, "Shall we?"

I took his arm and together we walked to where Rose was standing. I could tell from where she was that she was keeping an eye on Harry and me. "Care for an escort, at least until we find Jack?" Harry held out his other arm as the three of us made our way down the grand staircase. It wasn't until we were in front of the clock that I saw Jack. He was standing by himself and as he was waiting on us, I could tell from my spectator view that he was observing the other gentlemen around him, trying to watch to see what he needed to do to blend in. I looked around Harry and over at Rose and I could see the look she had given Jack. Their eyes met and held as Rose descended the stairs with Harry and me not far behind.

Jack approached Rose and held her hand up and kissed it gently. "I saw that in a nickelodeon once and I've always wanted to do it. Now I can say I have." Taking a cue from Harry, Jack held out his arm and became Rose's escort.

As we got to the bottom of the stairs, my brother and Ruth were speaking to the Countess of Rothes. "Darling?" Rose put her hand on Cal's shoulder. "Surely you remember Mr. Dawson from last night."

Cal turned around and had to look twice to make sure Jack was who Rose said he was. "Dawson. Why, it's amazing. He could almost pass for a gentleman."

I saw Rose's face fall, but Jack took it in stride. "Don't let it bother you. He didn't bother me." Rose smiled and put her arm back through Jack's as we made our way into the dining room with Harry still escorting me.

I know that Cal saw Harry escorting me, but I was surprised that my brother didn't say anything. He was too engrossed in conversation and either didn't notice, didn't care or the thought of Jack looking like a first class passenger caught him off guard. "So that's your brother?"

I slowed our pace down so I could talk to Harry without Cal overhearing me. "Yes. That's my older brother, Caledon. The woman he is escorting is Rose's mother, Ruth. Of course, you already know Jack and Rose."

"Your brother's a bit on the arrogant side, is he not?" Harry looked at my brother as his back was to us. Ruth was still standing beside him as they talked to Lady Duff-Gordon. "He seems transparent. Almost, oh, I don't know what word to use."

"Narcissistic?"

Harry nodded, "Good one. That fits perfectly. I look at you and I look at him and other than the same dark hair and dark eyes, I can't see how the two of you are related. You're the complete opposite of everything your brother is."

We got to the dining room and Harry escorted me about halfway to where we were sitting. I spotted my brother and Ruth ahead of us and decided it was in Harry's best interest as well as mine to not tempt fate. "As much as I'd love for you to escort me to my seat, my brother is up there and he's still steamed about the unfortunate mistake. I'd rather not provoke him. Will I be seeing you after dinner?"

Harry looked behind me at Cal. Cal was lost in conversation with Ruth standing next to him. "I'll meet you on the boat deck by our gate at eight. Will that give you enough time to finish dinner?"

"Dinner will be over with by then. The men break to go to the smoking room for brandy and I usually stay up here with Rose, but something tells me she will have her own plans." Harry reached for my hand and kissed it. "I'll see you outside at eight." As much as I wanted Harry to walk me to my seat, I knew Cal was still steamed about the whole mistake about me being a third class passenger and I didn't want Cal to hurt Harry. I've seen Cal's temper get the better of him and I knew what he was capable of.

After Harry left the room, I looked around for Jack and Rose. Molly Brown had joined Jack and Rose and the three of them were walking to where we were. Jack looked nervous and I couldn't help but smile when I saw Rose gently nudge Jack when it was time to turn down an aisle to get to our table. He took the cue perfectly and pulled Rose's chair out and then Molly's chair before he sat down.

As the rest of our table began to fill up, I was sitting next to Jack and on the other side of me was Molly Brown. Jack was looking bewildered at the silverware next to his plate. "Which one do I use? I don't want to use my caviar spoon on my salad."

"You don't use a spoon for caviar. You spread it on a cracker using the knife over there." I smiled as I knew Jack was kidding. "You start from the outside and work your way in. After every course, a member of the wait staff will clear the setting and you are to use a clean utensil for every course. Just keep your eye on Rose or me and we'll get you through this. The small plate by your water glass is for your bread that goes with your meal. The waiter will bring the basket of bread around. Use the tongs in the basket to select a dinner roll and place it on the plate."

Jack became lost in thought at the silverware next to his plate. Rose was sitting between Jack and Cal and Ruth was on Cal's right. Colonial Gracie and Lucille Duff Gordon were next to Ruth and the Countess of Rothes sat next to another couple that I didn't recognize and then the Astors, who were the last couple at our table. Everyone at our table was considered royalty in their own minds. I felt myself losing my appetite but forced the feelings away so I could concentrate on the meal.

Cal and Col. Gracie started in on their mindless chatter about being men. Jacob Astor joined in while his wife watched. The glazed over expression in her eyes was about the same expression Rose had last night. Tonight though, Rose's eyes were on Jack as he quietly told the two of us about his trip from California to England and then on to France before winding up in Ireland and back in England for the sailing of Titanic. I happened to look up at the same time Ruth did and her eyes met mine and I could see the contempt in her eyes that her own daughter and I were giving Jack more attention than the other society members at our table.

"Tell us of the accommodations in steerage, Mr. Dawson. I hear they are quite good on this ship."

I glanced up at Ruth as she spread caviar on a cracker. Rose had a look of disgust on her face and if I had to guess, she wanted to shove that cracker in her mother's face just like I did. Molly Brown glared at Ruth for bringing to light the fact that our guest was a third class passenger and not a member of the elitist royalty like the rest of us all.

Jack took it in stride, never missing a beat as the Astors exchanged glances with the Countess and Cal, wondering what a third class steerage passenger was doing at our table in first class. "The best I've seen, ma'am. Hardly any rats. White Star lines has outdone themselves on this one."

The guests at our table let out a low laugh at Jack's humor and his talent for taking a situation like Ruth wanted to occur and turning it into something he could work with. Cal cleared his throat and spoke up, answering the question no one wanted to ask. "Mr. Dawson is joining us from the third class tonight for our meal. He was of some assistance to both my sister and my fiancée. It was actually Rose's idea for him to join us for dinner tonight so he could be thanked properly for saving the women I love."

I blanched. Cal didn't want him here anymore than Ruth did. If they had their way, he'd be chained to a pipe downstairs in the boiler room until the ship docked in New York in a few days. "It also turns out that Mr. Dawson is quite a talented artist. He was kind enough to show both Maureen and me some of his work. His attention to detail as well the shading used to portray different schemes in the style rivals the artists I have seen in the museums and galleries in both America and in Europe."

"I wouldn't go that far, but I've been told I have an eye for capturing what I see and putting it down on paper. That's all I ever wanted to do in life is draw. After my folks died, I was able to do just that. That was years ago and I haven't looked back."

"Rose and I differ somewhat on our definition of fine art." Cal reached for his champagne glass and took a drink, "Not to impugn your work, Mr. Dawson. I'm sure it's as good as Rose states, but again, she and I have different tastes. Rose seems to think those awful paintings she forced me to buy before we sailed are art. Personally, I don't think they're fit to hang in an attic, much less our estate in Philadelphia or Pittsburgh."

"Who do you consider an artist, Cal? Monet? Michelangelo? Kandinsky? I personally like the Kandinsky works from his Blue Rider collection. He released several this year. They're at the Louvre. I am especially fond of his painting called 'The Blue Mountain.' I believe that it shows more of his trend towards pure abstraction."

I hid a smile as I watched my brother squirm in his seat. He apparently didn't expect someone of Jack's class to be so well versed in art. I actually found it quite refreshing to see my brother being put in his place by someone like Jack. "I'm more of a man who appreciates art you can understand. Sculptors mostly. Donatello has always been able to catch my eye with his works of art."

"Oh really? I have several favorites myself. Brancusi being one of them and Charles Despiau being another one. His works are on display in France. Have you ever gone?" Jack tore off part of his dinner roll and watched as Cal couldn't answer. "I could spend a week in the Louvre and still not see everything on display."

Seeing my brother squirm served him right for how he treated everyone. I wanted Jack to go on more, but one of the waiters came by with champagne refills. "I've been all over the world. I started out in America then made my way west towards California before coming back east and eventually crossing the Atlantic." Jack held his glass up. "I'll take some of that if you don't mind." I watched as the waiter poured the amber liquid in Jack's glass. He started to take a drink, but noticed Cal was looking for a lighter. Jack reached in his pocket to get something. "Here ya go, Cal." Jack threw something across the table and my brother barely caught it. "Met a lot of fascinating people that way."

"And where exactly do you live now, Mr. Dawson? France?" I looked over at Ruth. She had a smirk on her face as if she accomplished some great feat of strength by taking the spotlight off of Cal and putting it back on Jack's third class status.

"Well, right now my address is the R.M.S. Titanic, then after that, who knows. I'll be on God's good humor to tell me where I need to go. Got everything I need right here. I got blank paper, plenty of pencils and two eyes that let me see the world." He took a drink of champagne again as his eyes met Rose's from across the table. I could tell from where I was sitting that Rose was fascinated. "I'll go wherever the wind blows. May stay in New York. May go west. I don't know. Nothing to tie me down or hold me back."

Cal scoffed, "Like a bank account." I shot Cal a look, which he apparently ignored. He studied the etching on the edge of his champagne glass. "Probably the nicest thing that boy will ever see."

Jack either didn't hear or he didn't care. He and Rose started talking about sculptures at the Louvre until Ruth interrupted again, desperate to keep her daughter away from Jack as much as possible. "And how is it you have means to travel, Mr. Dawson? Doesn't traveling cost money?"

"I work my way from place to place. I make a living any way I can. I got a job working on a steamer last time I crossed the Atlantic. Got hired in New York and collected my pay in England. Lived off of that for a while.

"And you find this sort of existence appealing? You have no intentions on settling down? Getting a job?"

Jack shook his head, "Well, yes, ma'am, I do find it extremely appealing. I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up." Jack held his glass out for the waiter to pour more champagne into. He took a drink and set the glass back down, "Fantastic stuff. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people." He stopped to tear off another piece of his bread. "I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you. You learn to make each day count."

Molly didn't give Ruth a chance to intervene again with another question aimed at the sole purpose of undermining what little bit of credibility Jack had at our table. "Well said, Jack. Very well said. I've met a lot of people in my life and I will say, you're one of the most fascinating I've met to date."

"Agreed." Rose smiled at Jack as their eyes met. She held up her champagne glass. "To making it count."

Everyone else at the table joined in the toast with Ruth looking on in discord at the attention Rose was paying to Jack and not to my brother.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

As the rest of dinner dragged on, the tension in the air was noticeable by everyone at the table. Rose continued to pay more attention to Jack than my brother and Ruth did everything she knew how to do to get Rose to pay attention to Cal, but it was all to no avail. Rose's attention was focused solely on Jack.

Jack regaled our group with tales of his travels from France and all the way across Europe. When the men broke to go to the smoking room after dinner, Jack stood up to go with them, but I knew that he had no intentions on going downstairs. During dinner, he asked Molly for something to write with and as I kept my eyes focused forward on the Countess of Rothes as she spoke of some soirée she went to, I could tell Jack was feverishly writing a note and I could only guess as to who the recipient was. As I watched the conversation around the table, the other people at our table took a genuine interest in Jack's stories, but my brother and Ruth kept throwing nervous glances across the table at each other.

When the large grandfather clock in the front of the dining room sounded, the men stood up. I saw Jack look over at Rose and ask what was going on. Rose kept her head down and let out a chuckle, "Next it will be brandies in the smoking room." I watched as my brother stood up with some of the other men and started a conversation as they waited on their wives to stand up, "Now they will retreat into a cloud of smoke and congratulate each other on being masters of the universe."

When Rose gave her description of what was going on, I had to laugh along with Jack who commented on Rose's humor. My brother turned to see what was going on, but I covered up my laugh with a delicate cough and it seemed to pacify him as he turned his attention back to J.J. Astor who was standing beside him. "Join us in a brandy gentlemen?" All of the men stood up and started to leave. Jack stood up too at Rose's urging but we all knew he wasn't going.

"You coming with us, Mr. Dawson?" Mr. Ismay helped his wife get out of her chair, "We'd love to have you."

"No." Jack shook his head, "No. Time for me to head back below decks. Thank you all for the dinner. It was marvelous."

Cal and Mr. Ismay exchanged amused glances as Rose looked up at Jack, "Must you go?"

Rose saw my brother looking at her and didn't answer. Cal got something out of his pocket and started to walk off, "Oh and Dawson?" My brother turned and tossed Jack's lighter back to him, "Good of you to come."

"I'm glad he's gone."

I turned to watch Col. Gracie and Cal walking off with Mr. Ismay and another group of men, "I can't believe he had the nerve to sit with us at our table."

I looked over and saw that Jack had heard what my brother said. I started to apologize but Jack beat me to it, "No need. I know." He nodded his head to let me know he wasn't offended before he bent down slightly to kiss Rose's hand. "Time for me to go row with the slaves."

I could see from my vantage point that he had something tucked in his hand and while Ruth looked on, she couldn't see what was going on. Jack was slipping Rose a note. She felt the paper hit her hand and realized what was going on with him. "Must you go? You can stay if you'd like."

Jack shook his head, "No, I think my time here is done." He kissed the top of Rose's hand before turning to me and repeating the gesture. After saying goodbye to the remaining ladies at our table, Jack left, but turned back at the double doors at the entrance of the dining hall to glance back at Rose once more before a steward opened the door for him and Jack was gone from our line of sight.

Rose's gaze remained fixed on the door for a moment before she realized that she still held the note in her hand. She turned her chair slightly to face me as she opened the note. She read it and handed it to me, "What do I do?"

I read it and looked up and saw that Ruth was staring at both of us. Not wanting to get Rose into trouble or to draw suspicion with what was going on, I came up with a plan, "I think you probably need to go back to our room with me and lie down. You're looking a bit pale."

"Good idea." Rose stood up quickly and put her gloves back on as her mother watched, "Mother, Marueen and I are going back to our state rooms." Repeating Jack's actions from earlier, the two of us said goodbye to the ladies before we made our way towards our state rooms.

When we got to the main hall of the ship, Jack was waiting at the top of the stairs, "Well it's about time, ladies. I was beginning to wonder."

Rose and I started up the steps, meeting Jack halfway down. "I had to get rid of my mother. So what's on the agenda?"

Jack looked at Rose and at me, "So. Do you wanna go to a real party?"

"Sure. Maureen?" I said that was fine and Rose continued, "Where to?"

"This way." Jack took Rose's hand in his and I followed behind the two of them as we stepped outside into the chilly night air, "Third class is right this way."

Rose stopped in her tracks, "Oh wait."

"What?"

Rose looked at me, "What about Lovejoy?"

I shook my head, "He's with my brother in the smoking room."

"How about this? Jack, you go on down. Maureen and I will walk around a moment to make sure we're not being followed then we'll be right down."

"Fine. Just hurry." Jack went towards the back of the ship and used the same gate that I met Harry at the other day.

After Rose and I made a lap around the starboard side of the boat deck, we decided that Lovejoy was nowhere to be found and we quickly ducked below decks. Jack had told us to come to the third class dining room and when we got closer to the door, we could hear the party behind the doors. Lively Irish music was being played and the shouts and the sounds from behind the two white wooden doors let us know we had arrived.

Rose pushed the door open and together we stepped in. People from all different cultures were crowded into the tiny space and everyone was dancing and having a great time. Tables from dinner were shoved against one wall with people dancing in the middle of the room. Up on the stage, an Irish band was playing music that had everyone in a good mood. Everywhere we looked in the room, people had ale in their glasses and were engaged in conversation. As Rose and I went to find Jack, we passed several couples who were conversing in languages that we didn't understand, but not a single person was in bad spirits. "Rose, look." I pointed towards one side of the room and saw Jack dancing with Cora. Rose and I tried to call out to Jack, but the music was too loud.

I saw Rose's face light up as she nudged me in the side as we got close enough to see what was going on. "Jack?" He was dancing with Cora when Rose and I found him. She saw me and waved but looked over her shoulder and went behind where she was. I was guessing her parents were calling her. "This is different."

He had the same bright expression on his face that Rose did, "Glad you did. Hope you didn't get lost." He held out his hand and took Rose's hand and kissed it before reaching for mine and doing the same.

"No, no. We didn't get lost. I'm sorry about having to split up from you. It's just that…"

Jack waved his hand in the air, "I understand. Maureen's brother is an ass."

Now it was my turn to smile, "I couldn't have said it better myself. So…this is…what?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "This is a way of life for them." Jack stood between Rose and me and led us over to a small table and sat down. "This is how they live down here. It's a celebration of life every day for them. Most of the people down here are going to America to start over, just like Fabrizio. They've left a life of poverty or sickness behind and are going to America for a new life. A better life than they had."

I listened to Jack point out a few of the passengers he met as I remembered what Bert had told me the first day he I met him after I brought Cora back her ball. " _We're from Liverpool. We're heading to America for a better life."_

At the time, I didn't understand the pained look on his face, but now I did. After seeing everyone in the dining hall having such a good time, I decided that once I got to America, I'd talk to my brother about getting Bert a job in one of his steel mills. As much as my brother ran off servants, I'm sure he'd have no problem hiring Susanna to work in the house. The guest house on the property was used for our servants and their families and they'd be comfortable there. I decided against talking about my plans now and instead, vowed to discuss it with them later on.

"Let's dance!" Jack stood up and held on to Rose's hand, pulling her up with him. "I feel like dancing."

"I don't know the steps!" Rose was staring down at her feet as the momentum of the music began to pick up, "Jack?"

"Neither do I. Just go with it." He started to twirl around with Rose in his arms, "And don't think." He saw me looking at both of them, "You're next, Maureen. Don't go anywhere."

I laughed as I watched the two of them dancing around to the beat of the music. As I watched, I kept glancing around the room. Rather than see the third class or the "lesser" people as my brother called them, I saw some of the happiest people on this planet. I couldn't understand a lot of what they were saying. I heard some French as well as what I thought to be Swedish and some German mixed in, but even with the language barriers between the passengers, they were still communicating. To my left, a card game involving three men was getting intense. They all had ale in their glasses and in between looking at each other, trying to get a read on what cards they all had, they were not using words to communicate. When a dark haired man laid out his cards and hit the table with his fist, I knew he had won the hand. The two blonde men beside him muttered something in Swedish but tossed down their cards in disgust before drinking from their glasses but motioning to the winner to deal them in for another hand.

Rose and Jack were still dancing on the floor. As the music changed tempo, Jack stepped up on the main stage in the center of the room. One of the members of the band started to laugh as Jack started to dance in time with the music. As Rose stood off to one side, I made my way to the stage so I could see what was going on. When I got a better vantage point, the band would play a short number on their instruments and Jack would reproduce the sound using his shoes. I was in awe that Jack was as good of a dancer as he was. Rose turned and saw me as she bent down and slipped her shoes off, tossing them to me one at a time. I caught them and held on to them as I watched as Jack did another dance before Rose repeated it. "You never told me you could dance."

"I didn't know I could." She started to clap her hands as Jack did another dance, "At least not this way." She laughed at Jack as he motioned for her that it was her turn to dance and dance she did. After mimicking Jack's moves, he took her in his arms again and began to spin around wildly on the dance floor until Rose let out a cry as they continued to spin faster and faster. "Jack!" Rose started laughing again, "No! Jack, stop!"

Jack didn't stop. Instead, he spun faster, "Rose!"

When the music finally stopped, the two of them stopped. Jack pulled me up on stage with him and I handed Rose back her shoes, "Your turn."

Jack put his arms around my waist and pulled me close, "Now just like I told Rose. Just go with it and don't think. Let me lead. Just move to the music."

The band started up another lively number and before I knew it, Jack was spinning me around the dance floor stage just like he did Rose. As I danced with Jack, I understood now why Rose liked him so much.

I finished my dance with Jack and allowed Rose to have him again for another dance. I made my way back to my table that I was at only to see that someone else was sitting in my seat. I saw an empty table towards the back of the room and slowly made my way there. "Ms. Hockley?"

I froze as I wondered who could possibly know who I was down here. When I turned around, I saw Bert behind me, "Mr. Cartmell."

"Bert. Please. Did you need a place to sit down? We have room at our table. Please. Sit." Like an expert gentleman, he pulled a wooden chair out from under the small round table that he and his wife were at. "You remember my wife."

"Miss Hockley. Pleasure to see you again." Susanna looked at me, "Cora's around here somewhere. She'll be happy that you're here."

I smiled, "I saw her dancing with Jack earlier but I didn't get a chance to speak to her."

"Maureen!"

"Cora." The little girl was coming towards us with a redheaded man behind him, "Tommy, this is Maureen. She's my friend."

I leaned down in my chair and gave Cora a hug as she got into her mother's lap. "Tommy Ryan."

"Maureen Hockley. Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Ryan."

"Tommy, please." His thick Irish accent was a bit difficult to understand over the din of the music in the room, "What's a pretty lass like yourself doing down here with us?"

I motioned to Jack and Rose who were still dancing, "Down here with some friends. Mr. Dawson saved my friend's life over there. We're winding down from a dinner upstairs."

I had a very pleasant conversation with Tommy and the Cartmells. When the clock in the dining hall let me know it was getting close to eleven, I excused myself and started back upstairs. Rose was still happily dancing with Jack so I told her to wake me when she got to the room.

I opened the door to the third class deck and walked out into the night air. It was at least twenty degrees colder outside than when Rose and I went inside. The cold air stung my face as it blew in off the water, bringing freezing mist with it. I kept my head down and started towards the gate that'd take me back to my room.

I was about twenty feet from the gate when someone called out to me, "Harry." I didn't have a mirror, but I knew that the same smile Rose had on her face earlier was now on mine.

"Maureen." As Harry got closer to me, I could see that the look on his face was the same as mine. The moonlight above and the lights on the side walls of the ship gave me just enough light to be able to see him. "You must be freezing. What are you doing out this time of night?"

Harry draped his coat across my shoulders and held out his arm. I put mine through his and we walked slowly back towards the first class entrance, "I was below decks with Rose and Jack."

"The man with the sketches from earlier?"

"Yes. My brother invited him to dinner this evening as a thank you for saving Rose's life. Tonight was interesting to say the least."

Harry smiled, "Tell me about it. I usually try to avoid the dining halls if at all possible."

"You and me both." I told Harry a condensed version of the stories Jack had told us. "It must be nice to just be able to go."

"Go then. You can do it."

"If only."

Harry stopped and looked at me. I could tell by the look in his eyes that his mind was a jumble of words as he thought of the proper way to address me. "You're free. Don't you see? You're an adult woman who is capable of living on her own. You're not a child anymore, Maureen. Whether you want to admit it or not, you're free."

I shook my head, "Free? No. I'm not. It is one thing to be a man, but it is an entirely different story for women, myself included. I am not any freer than a caged bird. My life has already been planned out and there isn't anything I can do about it. I have a view of how the outside lives and that's all I have. Ever since I was a young girl, I was told what to do and when to do it. I was told when to eat and what to wear. I was told what lessons to take and what families to associate with. I was told how to behave in public and how to engage in conversation with a potential male suitor. I have yet to be free of anything in my life. You may not understand. You and I, we come from two different worlds."

"What? Because your family is wealthy and I'm not?"

I could tell my word stung Harry, "No. Not that at all. My family has always cared about the who. My family has always associated ourselves with royalty and people around us automatically associate us as such. Even my own attendant declared before dinner that the gown I have on now is fit for royalty." I looked down at the ground and watched as the train of my dress moved with me. "It's misery to be told what to do, when to do it, and why. I can't even pick out an outfit for dinner. I have everything handed to me and everything scheduled in my life and I have no control over it. I didn't even want to come on this ship. I was happy in England, but my parents insisted I come back home to America and live with them. Apparently I'm past my prime. You may not have the riches my family has, but you have something far better." I stopped walking and moved closer to the railings of the ship and out of the way of the aisle. "You have something I am forever envious of and will never have."

"And what's that?"

"You're on your way to America as an independent man. Your life isn't preplanned and your destiny isn't already chosen. You are a free person with the world standing wide open for you and no one to order you around. Does that not count for anything? That is something I'll never have. Once we dock in New York, I'm sure my parents won't be there, but a member of their staff will be. We'll be taken to Philadelphia then onto Pittsburgh for the wedding. Rose and Cal will be married and they'll stay in Philadelphia to run that branch of Hockley Steel. I'll be sent back to New York to live with my parents until they can pawn me off on some first class society man to continue on the legacy. You're on your way to New York a free man. I'm on my way to New York wearing these shackles and chains, just like Rose. She likened this ship as a slave ship, carrying her to America in chains."

"You make it sound like your life is already set. Your destiny may already be written, but it can always be challenged. You are the master of your own life, Maureen." Giving me no chance to retort, he continued. "Everyone tried to tell me what it was I was supposed to do but I chose to go against it. I am my own person just as you are. Do what makes you happy."

"Have you ever noticed how the first class passengers act?"

Harry stopped. He didn't answer right away, "You mean poised and sophisticated?"

"That's what you see when you see me?"

"I see that and so much more, Miss Hockley. If I knew what you were really asking me or what you wanted me to answer, or what you're looking for, I'd be able to prepare a better answer than the one I gave you. I know you have realized that I'm not even in the same league as you. However, I hope I haven't embarrassed you. The class to which I belong isn't nearly as grandiose as yours. I'm afraid I'm not what one would call socially adept. We only need one spoon for our meals."

I smiled, "You are doing a fine job, Harry, but that's not it." We continued on our walk around the deck for a moment without saying anything. "I mean, when you see the first class, does it upset you? Make you angry?"

"No. Why should it?"

"Harry, it's a charade. All of it. It's a ruse."

Harry pulled on my arm, turning me to face him. "Explain it to me then because I don't see it. I see the fine manners and lifestyles that the first class has to offer."

I sighed, "We're taught how to act in every situation imaginable. We're taught to always sit up straight and never leave the house without a corset. We're taught to be subservient to our suitors and to smile politely at everything. We're taught to produce heirs and look perfect at every hour of the day. It's a façade. That's all we are. The first class is a Shakespearean play in real life. See, watch. I will walk over there. See the group of men and their wives?"

I watched as Harry looked at the group of first class passengers ahead. "I do. What about them?"

I took my arm out of Harry's hand and gave him back his coat. "Just wait here and watch. I'm about to walk by and enter the door to the left. I'll make a loop back through the hallway and come out the door over here. Just watch."

I left Harry where he was as I started walking just as I was taught in finishing school as a girl. I took small steps that were never too fast and in even time with each other. I held my back straight as my corset started pinching my ribs together until my lungs ached for air. "Good day, gentlemen."

As I passed, the gentleman stopped and gave me a slight bow as I passed. I noticed as one of them stepped away to open the door to the first class entrance I told Harry to watch, their wives smiled as politeness dictated.

When the door finally closed, I felt a sense of relief as the eyes of the first class onlookers outside were obscured by the wooden door. I stopped in the middle of the hallway and took a small breath to calm my nerves before I went back outside to Harry. I waited until the door stayed closed a few minutes to ensure that I was not being followed by my brother's valet. I cast one last glance down the hallway in both directions and started walking away from the door that was ahead of me, just in case. I cast one last glance behind me before switching directions and doubling back towards where I left Harry.

"See what I mean?"

He took my arm in his after he put his coat back on me. "I see manners. I also saw a beautiful woman pass by and men took notice of that. Isn't that what women want of men? To be treated like that?"

"We do."

Harry closed the gap between us, "I want…" He put his hand behind my neck and when the cool leather of his glove hit the back of my neck, I felt the chill bumps rising on my arms, even under the layers of fabric I was in, "This."

My heartbeat quickened when his lips met mine. He was only against my lips for a few seconds, but that was enough for me to want more, "I wanted that too."

After kissing me once more, we started back towards the entrance of the first class cabins. "I know it's late again. Your brother is probably looking for you."

I started to take Harry's coat off of him and gave it back. It smelled like aftershave which was one of my favorite scents. "I'm sure he's already asleep but thank you." I stared at him, unwilling to make the first move again. Harry picked up on that and kissed me gently again before he told me he'd find me tomorrow during church services.

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. Reviews are welcomed and encouraged.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Rose woke me up shortly after midnight to let me know she was back safely from third class. I was still mostly asleep when she came in, but she told me she'd tell me all about it later on before church. Because Trudy was asleep, I sat up long enough to help her out of her corset and it didn't take me long to lie back against the pillows, roll over and fall back asleep.

The next morning, I yawned as I heard Claire in my room. She was in my closet and was pulling out my dress for Sunday services. After she got me up and changed me into a tea dress, she told me Rose was in our promenade deck and for me to enjoy tea with her while she prepared for the morning ahead.

I opened the door to our promenade deck and found Rose sitting alone, absentmindedly stirring a lemon slice into her tea with a silver spoon. It was only when I sat down that she finally looked up, "Maureen."

Lowering my voice, I reached for a tea cup, "You look well rested considering…"

Trudy was approaching to pour my tea, so Rose didn't say what she wanted to say. She gave me a look that said she'd tell me later after Trudy left, "Will you be walking with me to church services?"

Trudy was pouring a cup of tea for me and I followed Rose's suit and put a lemon slice in mine and added a small amount of sugar. After she stepped away and out of the room to give us some privacy, I said I was as I took a drink from my tea, "As soon as Claire dresses me, we can leave. My brother sent word through Mr. Lovejoy that he'll be down here in a moment to join us for a light breakfast before services."

Rose dropped her spoon to her plate with a loud noise and shook her head, "Maureen, I know you want to know about last night. Even though you won't admit it, I know you're curious."

"Well I am curious, but I also know that if you wanted me to know, then you'd tell me." I set my spoon down on my plate more gracefully than Rose did, "I'm not one to pry, Rose, but yes, I would like to know."

Rose got up out of her chair across from me and moved to the one right beside me after making sure the door was locked, "Jack and I had such a great time last night. We danced and laughed and drank so much beer that I thought I'd…"

"Rose!"

She looked over at me, "What?"

I shook my head, "Sorry I missed seeing you like that but please, continue on."

"Speaking of which, where'd you go?"

I felt my cheeks flush, "I left and came back here."

"Maureen. I know you're not telling me the whole truth." She started to smile, "I know you that when you get embarrassed that your cheeks flush now tell me what happened." Rose's eyes were fixed upon me, "Please? I want to know."

I got up from my chair and opened the door to our suite from our promenade deck. After checking to make sure no one was listening, I took the seat next to Rose and took a deep breath, "Well, I left the third class and was on my way back to our room to sleep. I ran into someone and…"

"Who?"

"Harry. Remember…"

Rose interrupted me again, "Of course I do. He's the one that made you smile."

"Yes, him. After I left you downstairs, I walked around the boat deck with him for a little bit then I came to bed."

I could tell Rose wasn't buying my version of events, "And that's it?" I said yes, but she still didn't believe me and smiled, "Liar."

I moved my chair closer to Rose's and looked around the room. Trudy wasn't here and Claire was probably in my suite. After getting up to look for my brother's valet, I sat back down, "Harry kissed me on deck last night."

Rose gasped, "Maureen!"

"I know. I know. It was unexpected. I was trying to tell him what our lives are like. Everything is scheduled out and everything is preplanned. It's just so constricted. Harry didn't believe me."

"Tell him to take a look at mine." Rose took her engagement ring off and tossed it on the table. It bounced once and landed a few inches away from her saucer, "My mother forced me into this. Guilt."

"I don't get it."

"Our family fortune is gone."

"Rose?"

She slowly nodded as she reached for her engagement ring, "My father was a great man and a wonderful father to me, but he had a dark secret. He loved two things in life: Gambling and drinking. My mother tried to stop him but by that time, it was too late. Our fortune was gone and we lost everything. We were on the verge of losing the manor in America when my mother heard Cal was looking for a wife somehow. She had us to meet and next thing you know, I'm engaged to him. Cal still believes the charade that the DeWitt-Bukater name means something." Rose put her ring back on, but put it on to where the diamond was on the bottom of her hand, hidden from view, "My mother keeps telling me that our name is the only card we have to play. She keeps reminding me that if I don't go through with this marriage that she'll be working as a seamstress and what little bit of possessions we have left will be sold at auction."

I was floored, "I had no idea."

"Of course you wouldn't have. I'm not sure how my mother paid for finishing school or kept up the charade of the lifestyle she thought we deserved, but she did. When Cal saw me for the first time, I was barely seventeen. I met him a week after my birthday. Two months later, we were announcing our engagement at a gala in England and now, we're sailing to America to do it all over again. It's been barely five months since we met and already, I'm about to be married." Rose looked up at me, "Five months."

I knew how she felt. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew the reason I was sailing back to America. I was a lady of age and according to the rules in our society, I should have been married off years before and have already begun to produce heirs to whatever fortune I married into, "Rose." I dunked the lemon slice in my tea a few times before lightly scraping the spoon on the edge of the cup, "I can relate. Mother and father have long suggested it's time for me to find a husband. After having to sit through all the cotillions and polo matches with one suitor after another, it's insulting. I'm being treated like an employee. Like a foreman in one of my family's mills. It's insulting."

"As my mother keeps telling me, 'We're women. Our choices are never easy.' That's the phrase she uses every time I object to anything. I objected to Cal's choice in venue for our wedding. I objected to the number of bridesmaids there will be, but mother keeps shoving it in my face I don't have a choice." She tossed her spoon onto the table and watched as it clattered off the table and fell to the floor, just out of reach, "You have choices. I don't."

"I am on the same boat as you. I don't have a choice. I overheard Cal and one of the other passengers talking right after we boarded that our parents already have someone they want to introduce to me at your wedding. Someone from the Porter-Cole lineage I believe."

"You have Harry."

I scoffed, "As if my parents would ever let me marry Harry or someone like him."

"Maureen!"

I sighed, "I know. I don't mean to sound like my brother, but Harry isn't a member of the club. My parents would never approve of it." I began to daydream as I thought of my kiss from earlier, "Anyway, I barely know the man. He's an officer on board the ship we're on. I'm sure he's got a special lady back home in Ireland."

"Ladies."

I looked over as my brother came in. Dressed already in a striped trousers and a gray morning coat, he kissed me gently on the cheek before he did the same to Rose and sat down across from her. He poured himself a cup of tea and began to tell us of the activities of the day that were planned, "Church first, followed by a tour of the ship I've arranged through Thomas Andrews. It should be remarkable. He'll be able to tell us everything about this unsinkable ship we're on."

I let my brother drone on and on in the background as I stirred the lemon slice in my tea a bit more before Claire came to dress me. Grateful to be away from my brother, I felt sorry for leaving Rose where she was, but I had no choice. Church services were in just under two hours and I had to get ready.

Claire had picked out a dark red dress with a matching hat and gloves. I sat down on the edge of the dressing chair and allowed her to pin my hair back. Opting to go without the hat for church, she told me she'd bring it to me before our tour up on the boat deck.

After she was finished, I stood up and got ready to leave as Claire left my room to go back to her state room to get her shawl. Church services were open to all passengers, but the seating would be divided. First class passengers at the front of the hall with the wait staff and third class hidden in the back.

I opened my door, but Cal's yelling stopped me in my tracks, "What do you mean?"

Rose's voice was soft, yet firm, "I am not a foreman in one of your mills that you can command. I am your fiancée."

I held my breath and waited on my brother to explode. "My fian... my fiancée!" As I heard the sound of glass breaking not twenty feet away from me, I reached out for the bedpost to steady myself as Cal continued ranting, "Yes, you are, and my wife. My wife in practice if not yet by law, so you will honor me. You will honor me the way a wife is required to honor a husband. Because I will not be made a fool, Rose. Is this in any way unclear?"

I couldn't hear Rose's response, but as soon as I heard the door open in the next room I quickly moved to the far end of my state room and opened the door that exited out to the hallway and ducked outside before anyone knew that I heard anything. I waited around the corner of our room until Cal was safely on his way to the hall where church would be held before I went back to our room to check on Rose.

She was sitting on the floor in our promenade deck and was crying as Trudy was picking up glass shards from the china that was on the table. Looking around the room, I saw the remnants of Cal's anger. The table was flipped on its side. Shattered pieces of china and silverware were strewn across the room. Rose had been crying and Trudy was consoling Rose who was trying to help her clean up, "I'm so sorry, Trudy." She reached forward and picked up one of the flowers that was on the vase in the middle of the table, "We had a little accident."

"It's alright, miss."

Trudy tried to take the flower from Rose, but she wouldn't let it go, "I'm so sorry. Here, let me help you." Rose got down on her hands and knees and started to pick up the pieces of the shattered china before Trudy stopped her. Rose took one look at Trudy before she noticed I was in the room and fell back against the chair I was sitting in earlier.

I told Trudy I'd get a porter to clean this up and if she would, to start dressing Rose so we weren't late. "My brother is upset enough as it is."

She curtsied, "Yes ma'am."

Rose cast a forlorn glance over her shoulder at me as Trudy gently led her back towards her stateroom.

Appearing a short time later, Rose was in a dark blue dress that clearly matched her mood. She put her white shawl on top of her dress and slowly opened the door and with her head down, allowed me to step into the hall before I heard the faint click of the door behind me. We walked in silence towards the hall where church was, never once speaking of what went down between her and my brother.

Two porters opened the door and as I told each of them thank you, Rose didn't even look up. Cal met us in the aisle and ushered us towards the front of the room, sitting between us. Ruth was on Rose's left, Cal was on her right and I was on the opposite side of Cal. The Astors were seated on the other side of me and as Captain Smith stood up to start the services, I thought I saw a tear trickle down Rose's cheek, but I couldn't stare without being noticed.

Halfway through the service, I heard some sort of commotion outside. As I turned around to see what it was, I couldn't make it out and Ruth's sharp poke to my shoulder as she shot me a menacing glance didn't help either. The school girl in me wanted to stomp my foot and stick out my tongue, but I knew my brother was already in a foul enough mood was it was. He kept glancing down at Rose, who was still melancholy. As the pianist started playing the opening notes to  _Eternal Father, Strong to Save,_  I reached down and got my program booklet and flipped to the proper page as I heard Molly Brown's voice behind me singing the song.

Rose's voice was barely above a whisper and the look on her face I couldn't quite place. Cal kept looking down at her, knowing something was wrong with her, but not having a clue what it was.

I knew what it was but I couldn't tell anyone. I looked longingly around the room and my breath caught as I thought I saw Harry, but it was another one of the officers. I kept my head down as much as possible as not to tip Cal off as to what I was doing. When the song ended and the congregation began to sit down, I finally spotted him at the edge of the row where the officers were seated. He caught my eyes just once before I let a small smile escape my lips before turning my attention back to Cal. Harry got the point and turned his attention back to the reverend who was leading the church services.

True to Cal's words, after a light lunch, we were led on a tour of the ship. As we neared the wheelhouse, Mr. Andrews was explaining to Ruth why we needed two steering wheels, when one of the wireless operators approached, "Excuse me but I thought you'd need this." He handed a slip of Marconi paper to Captain Smith, "Another ice warning. This one's from the  _Baltic."_

Captain Smith folded the paper neatly and put it in his pocket. He must have noticed the look of horror on my face and gently put a hand on my shoulder, "Not to worry, miss. Quite normal this time of year. In fact, we're speeding up. I've just ordered the last boilers lit."

Mr. Andrews looked as concerned as I did, but he continued with the tour, "This way. Next stop will be the sun decks."

My brother looped his arm through Rose's but she stopped to adjust her shawl which had gotten caught on a hinge in the wheelhouse room. Ruth saw that as her opportunity and took her daughter's place, leaving Rose and me behind. Mr. Andrews waited on the two of us, and led us outside into the April sun.

I half listened as he talked about the lifeboats and the safety requirements for the ship. I noticed that coming down the ship, there were only seven boats attached to davits in the aisle, with one suspended in the air. Looking to my right, there were two lifeboats on top of the officers' quarters. I was beginning to wonder in my head whether there were enough boats to carry everyone on board. I didn't see any down in third class, but the little area we were in didn't expose much. There could have been storage areas below decks, but how could the boats have been pulled out?

"Mr. Andrews, forgive me. I did the sum in my head and with the number of lifeboats times the capacity you mentioned, forgive me, but it seems that there are not enough for everyone aboard."

I watched as Rose stopped and looked at the lifeboats. We were having the same thoughts as we passed them. There simply weren't enough boats. Mr. Andrews looked impressed that Rose picked up on it, "'Bout half, actually. Rose, you miss nothing, do you?"

"No. I do not, sir."

"These new davits that we use could take a row of boats where we are." He motioned with his hands, "Or they could be stacked on top, but it was thought by some that the deck would look too cluttered, so I was overruled."

Cal hit one of the boats with his walking cane as Ruth took his arm again, "It's a waste of deck space as it is, on an unsinkable ship."

Mr. Andrews chuckled, "Sleep soundly young Rose for I have built you a good ship, strong and true, she's all the lifeboats you need." He motioned ahead of us slightly, "Next stop will be the engine rooms."

Rose didn't look convinced. I knew I wasn't. Being first class, we were guaranteed a spot on a lifeboat if something happened. It was the lower classes that would suffer. I felt a pang of hurt when I realized that meant the people I met below decks would be the ones to suffer. Tommy Ryan. Cora Cartmell and her family. Helga and Fabrizio.

**A/N: Reviews please? I think I got all of one review last chapter and it's really disheartening to only get one for something I work so hard on.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**April 14th, 1912 – Afternoon before the sinking**

**Rose**

"The electric horse is very popular. We even have an electric camel." The gym instructor was giving us a tour of the Titanic gym. I was looking around and spotted a punching bag a head of me. Every fiber in my being was begging me to hit it, but being a proper lady, I couldn't.

The instructor droned on and on about the different machines but stopped himself as he was describing the rower. Cal had sat down after handing his jacket over to a porter and begun to row the machine like a boat, "This reminds me of my days at Harvard."

"Very good, sir." The gym instructor moved on and showed us two electric devices, "This one is an electric horse and we even have a brand new machine, the electric camel."

I was unsure as to how riding an electric horse or an electric camel could be constituted as anything even remotely resembling exercise, but I kept my mouth shut like the good little first class girl I am. On the way out, everyone was in front of me and without even thinking, I balled up my fist and with all my might, I hit the punching bag. It stung as the thick leather hit my fist, but it felt good at the same time. I only wished I had more time down here to work out more frustrations.

Mr. Andrews turned around to see the bag swinging and smiled ever so slightly, knowing I was the one to hit it. He shook his head and I knew he'd keep my secret for me, "The next stop on our tour will be bridge. This way, please."

I listened to more of Mr. Andrews talking about the ship and the machinery that made it run. Out of all the first class people on board, he was the most likeable. On our way towards the back, I felt someone tapping me on the shoulder. I gasped when I saw Jack and Maureen heard me, "Are you okay, Rose?"

"I'm fine. Tell my brother I wanted to see the wheelhouse again." I shoved her towards the group, "Go, before my cover is blown."

Pulling Jack with me, we went back into the now empty gymnasium. Jack closed the door behind me, and glanced out through the ripple-glass window to the starboard rail. The gym instructor who was just here has moved outside and is chatting up the woman who was riding the bike during our tour. It didn't take long before I started in on him, "What are you doing up here? Don't you know the master at arms can arrest you for being up here?"

Jack smiled, "Only if you turn me in. Me and you are the only ones that know I'm third class."

"So why are you here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

I had to get out of here. This can't be happening to me, "Jack, this is impossible. I can't see you."

He grabbed me by the shoulders to stop me. I felt a chill when he touched me, but didn't say anything to him. "Rose, you're no picnic... you're a spoiled little brat even, but under that you're a strong, pure heart, and you're the most amazingly astounding girl I've ever known and…"

This wasn't happening to me. I shut my eyes tightly before I interrupted him, "Jack, I…"

He interrupted me, "No wait. Let me try to get this out. You're amazing..." He paused as he trailed off before he continued, "I know I have nothing to offer you, Rose. I know that but I'm involved now. You jump, I jump, remember? I can't turn away without knowing that you're going to be alright."

I felt the tears coming to my eyes. For the first time in my life, I actually met someone who is so open and so real. He's unlike anyone I have ever known, but I felt the ring on my finger against my skin. It felt like it was constricting my finger, reminding me that I was about to marry Cal. It reminded me of my mother's words that this was our last card to play. I had to keep up appearances, "You're making this very hard. I'll be fine. Really."

Jack wasn't as convinced as I was, "I don't think so. They've got you in a glass jar like some butterfly, and you're goin' to die if you don't break out. Maybe not right away, 'cause you're strong. But sooner or later the fire in you is goin' to go out."

He touched my cheek and moved closer to me. I put my hand over his and kept him from kissing me, "It's not up to you to save me, Jack."

Jack looked defeated, "You're right. Only you can do that."

"I have to get back, they'll miss me. Please, Jack, for both our sakes,

leave me alone." With that, I gently moved away from him and exited the gymnasium, hoping I could catch up with Cal and Maureen, and not have them question me as to where I was.

After the tour was over with, it was time for afternoon tea. My mother escorted Maureen and me down towards the tea room in one of the lounges. Out of all the rooms onboard, including the dining salon, this was the most elegant room on the ship, done in Louis Quinze Versaille style. The waiter pulled my chair out for me and I sat down with Maureen to my right and my mother to my left. Joining us were the Countess Rothes and Lady Duff-Gordon. They begin telling us about their morning but all through the conversation, I remained silent and remained as still as a porcelain figurine as the conversation washed around me. Maureen noticed my personality change but she can't say anything. I know she saw Jack and I know she wants to know what's going on, but with my mother in earshot, I have to remain as stoic as possible. No one can know my dark secret.

My mother wasted no time divulging the latest details of my wedding. She loved any opportunity to speak of it, and now was no different, "Of course the invitations had to be sent back to the printers twice. And the bridesmaids dresses! Let me tell you what an odyssey that has been. Rose decided she wanted lavender even though she knows I detest that color…"

My mother's voice became mixed in the background as I looked for anything to take my mind off Jack and the predicament I was in. Next to us, a few tables over, a mother and who I assumed was her daughter were having tea. The little girl couldn't have been more than four or five years old. Slouching back in her chair, her mother tapped her leg sharply and the little girl sat straight up, correcting her posture. The little girl is trying so hard to please her mother as evident by her serious expression. She daintly picks up a cookie after she delicately places a silk napkin across her lap, just like we were taught in finishing school.

_"Rose, sit up straight." My mother's voice was harsh. She hit me across my bare leg with the back of her hand, sending a sting up my leg. I immediately straightened up, but my mother was not pleased, "You are a young lady and you must act like one at all times. Is this understood?"_

_My five year old voice was meek, "Yes, ma'am."_

I shook myself back into present day and I remember all the relentless conditioning I was put through with finishing school; the pain to becoming an Edwardian geisha.

I knew what I had to do. I calmly and deliberately turned my teacup over, spilling tea all over my dress, "Oh, look what I've done." I stood up as two waiters came rushing over, both having silk table napkins of their own, "Please, don't fuss. I'll have to go back to my stateroom to change." I pushed my chair under the table, pleased with myself, "Maureen, would you please help me?"

With a quizzical look upon her face, she excused herself, setting her silk linen on top of the table as a waiter helped her out of her chair, "Excuse me."

When we were safely out of earshot, she finall spoke, "What was that all about? I saw you tip the cup over and I bet that the Countess of Rothes saw you do it as well."

"I don't care. I had to get out of there." Practically sprinting the rest of the way back to our staterooms, I slammed the door before I started towards the closet to select a new gown. Maureen was right on my heels, and I knew I owed her an explanation.

**Maureen**

"It's Jack."

"What about him?" I took a seat on the edge of Rose's bed and wrapped my arm around the mahogany bedpost, "I saw him earlier today. Did he try to hurt you?"

"Goodness no. Quite the opposite. He wants to save me."

"Save you? From what?"

Rose motioned around the room, "From this. From everything." Rose sat on the edge of the bed next to me, "He told me he cares about me and even though he has nothing to offer me, he's involved in my life now. 'You jump, I jump' was how he worded it. He's right though. They do have me trapped."

Rose was making no sense, "Who has you trapped?"

"Maureen, all of this is trapping me. My mother has me trapped. Cal has me trapped. Everything about my life has me trapped and I'm sick of it." Rose was still wearing the tea-soaked dress and began to press her hands against the wet spot where the tea spilled, "I'm just sick of it all and don't know how much more I can handle. All of this, it's just too much." She got off the bed and went into the closet but rather than a new dress, she came out with a silk handkerchief and began to dab at the blue fabric of her dress, "This isn't want I want and I know being married off to the highest bidder once we dock in America isn't what you want, either."

No, it wasn't. I didn't know what I wanted right now. I knew I didn't want to wind up married to someone I could barely stand, but as women, that's what we did. We basically live our lives in a waiting room, occasionally stepping out to attend parties or make calls, but the instant we were done, we retreated back to the waiting room. Only when we were married were we finally free of the room, but bound to a life many of us didn't want. "I don't know what I want. I know my parents have several suitors lined up for me, but right now, I try not to think about it."

"What about your officer?"

"Harry? I barely know him."

"And I barely know Cal."

Rose had a point but running off with a man I barely knew was something I could never do, "My parents would never approve."

"And you think my mother approves of Jack? She'd just prefer if he'd gone overboard trying to save me that night. In ways, I wish he would have let me slip. There's no way Jack and I can ever be together, not as long as your brother is still alive."

"So should we have him taken out?" I dissolved into a fit of laughter, "Have Harry's friends knock him overboard?"

Rose's expression finally softened as she started to laugh as well, "That'd be something. We could throw him and that awful manservant overboard together and be done with them. I could ship my mother off somewhere and be done with it all." She got up and put her hands around the bedpost and began to rock back and forth, "I'd finally be free. I could do what I wanted then and so could you. You wouldn't have to worry about Cal knocking you around anymore."

"Knocking us both around." It was a dream and I was foolish enough to believe any of it could come true. Still, the though of me living a normal life was something I longed for. No corsets. No tea. No polo matches or yacht parties. Just to live a normal life. Be able to go to work, come home and cook dinner for my husband and family. We'd live away from society, but it was a pipe dream. It'd never happen. I was a Hockley and I'd do what my older siblings did. I'd get married. I'd have babies. I'd forever be a Hockley whether I wanted to or not. There was no escaping my last name or the fact my life was already planned out.

Rose had stopped rocking back and forth on the bedrail, "You were thinking about it, weren't you?"

"Yes. But it's silly to even think we could ever escape this. I'm a Hockley and I have my life planned out ahead of me. There's nothing I can do to change the inertia of my life, even if I wanted to."

"Well, I know what I'm about to do." Rose selected a matching dark blue shawl from her closet, "I'm going to find Jack. To hell with everything." She started towards the hallway of the ship, "Wish me luck!"

"Rose!" I put my hand on her forearm and pulled her back into the room and shut the door. "Are you sure? I mean, really sure?"

"Maureen, I've been living my life based on how people feel I should act for far too long. I've been brought up and raised in a way that makes sense for society because that's the only way we've ever been brought up, but lately, I've been seeing it differently thanks to Jack. Now, I think our lives are about finding the one thing that you really care about. It's that one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. It's the one thing that you'll risk all to protect and give up everything to hang onto and I think that when you find it, you fight for it. You fight like you've never fought before. You risk it all, you put him in front of everything, your life, your family, all of it and maybe the stuff I do to get what I want is something no one would understand, but I do. I understand now what it is to be alive and that's all thanks to Jack. No one would understand and that's fine. I don't expect them to and it doesn't matter because in my heart, in my soul, it makes sense to me. Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to."

I watched Rose as she spoke. For the first time in her life, she was alive. "Rose, you're different. You're passionate about something and I've never seen this side of you. What are you going to tell everyone? What about my brother?"

"To hell with all of them, no offense to you though. I still love you like a sister and that'll never change. That'll always be true. I just can't do this anymore. You saw what happened to me earlier on board. I tried to kill myself, Maureen. I was that miserable in this life. I was going to let go of the back of this ship and die because I couldn't entertain the thought of living one more day in this life I'm being forced to live." Rose moved away from the door and sat on the sofa in the sitting room. "I've met someone who has taught me more in three days than in the seventeen years I've been alive. I'm taking this chance and I'm running with it. It doesn't make any sense. It baffles me that I'm giving in and doing something that is so unlike me."

"Are you okay? I mean, is this what you want? You seem so different. You're happy." I felt a pang of jealousy at knowing my own fate when we docked in America. "You're alive. For the first time since I met you, you've always been this melancholy girl who acted like you didn't belong. I never understood that until now I guess." I sighed. "I don't think I have the strength or the courage to do what you want to do."

"I feel that sometimes, nobody's ever held me down and forced me to face my feelings. I've always been taught that what I want doesn't matter. It's all about what the men want. We're women. My own mother even told me that earlier when we were dressing for church. She told me that life isn't fair. Her exact words were 'we're women. Our choices are never easy.' Now I can prove her wrong." Rose stood up and wrapped her shawl around her shoulders. "Jack has brought me to life. He's forced me to realize that I am a human. I'm not a piece of property. He was the first person who ever confronted me when I said I was fine and I wasn't. Jack was the first person to ever look at me and challenge me. He was the first person to ever make me realize that I'm not fine. Jack has been the only one to not let me walk away thinking 'this is as good as it gets.' My mother won't understand and your brother will probably be extremely upset, but I don't care. As soon as this ship docks in New York, I'm getting off with Jack. I'm going to find him now."

I brought Rose into a hug. "I love you. I always will. I hope you're happy with Jack." I released Rose from the hug. "You are such a different person now than what you were earlier in the voyage. I only wish I could find such happiness as you. I'm sure when we dock in America that my father already has some suitor lined up for me. We'll make our entrance into society together and be engaged then comes the famous Hockley family engagement parties, then a lifetime of nothing, but what else can I do?"

"Fight." Rose tightened the shawl around her shoulders. "You've got someone on this ship who cares for you deeply. You try to hide your feelings about Harry, but I see how you are around him. You're happy. Don't let go of that happiness, Maureen." Rose started towards the door. "Sometimes, the ground can shift and crumble beneath us. My world started to crumble when I announced the engagement to your brother. It started to shake when we boarded Titanic. It started to erode when we got out to sea. When your ground becomes unstable, you slip and you reach out for the closest hand to catch you before you fall." Rose put her key in her handbag. "And Jack was the one holding out his hand. I caught his hand and I'm not letting go. I'm holding onto it as tight as I can. Don't let go of Harry, Maureen. Harry has his hand out. Grab hold of his hand and don't ever let go."

I watched as Rose left the room, on a determined mission to find Jack and I knew immediately what I had to do.

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to review. It's difficult to write when the characters aren't speaking to me.**


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